[Wisconsin State Journal] A bicyclist escaped serious injury due to alert evasive action by a bus driver Friday morning, according to a Madison Police Department report.
Police said a bicyclist riding against traffic at about 7:15 a.m. “turned right into the bus.”
“She was on the sidewalk and moved right into the street in front of the bus,” said Howard Payne, police department spokesman.
“If not for the alert action of the driver, the bicyclist would have been run over,” police said.
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Props to the bus driver for managing to swerve the bus out of the way. Not because it probably saved the bicyclist’s life, by the way. When you’re riding your bike against traffic and turning right out into the street in front of buses, I have to think that natural selection probably comes into play. Sure she survived this time, but only because the person driving the bus had quick reflexes and a conscience. In my experience, neither of those things are common when it comes to bus drivers.
No, I say props for avoiding the bicyclist because, had she actually been run over, it’s 100% guaran-fucking-teed that the bicycling community would find some way to blame the bus driver. I mean what the fuck, did you NOT expect a bicyclist to ride right into traffic in front of you? How could you not be ready for that? Share the fucking road dude. It’s like a bicyclist can’t just go the wrong way down the middle of the street in peace anymore. I’m sorry, I thought this was America.
[TIME] Quelle horreur! A small dog nearly caused a not-small crash at the Tour de France this weekend after he got loose and dashed across the racetrack. The incident occurred just a few miles from the finish line during the event’s second stage. Luckily, the cyclists managed to dodge the four-legged obstacle, and everyone carried on safely.
In the past, such events haven’t turned out so well. In 2007, German cyclist Marcus Burghardt collided with a dog, as CBS News notes. In 2000, a horse made his way onto the track and tried to outrun the peloton. A herd of cows even joined the pack once, causing an accident. So, all things considered, this intrepid little pup caused nothing more than a minor scare — and a collective adrenaline boost.
[Morning Sun] PITTSBURGH – A bicyclist riding on the sidewalk in downtown Pittsburg Tuesday morning caught the eye of a Pittsburg Police Department officer, who attempted to make contact with the individual about a city ordinance violation.
According to a police media release, the subject, Shaun D. Hall, 29, of Nevada, Mo., was riding his bike in the area of Fifth and Broadway, then fled northbound on his bicycle, and the pursuit ended in the 100 block of West Seventh Street, where Hall was taken into custody.
When Hall’s backpack was searched, officers located an active “one-pot” mobile methamphetamine lab.
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No clue what to say about this. I mean three days ago I thought I made it very clear that you probably shouldn’t bike around town carrying meth. And bro here isn’t even carrying meth, he’s carrying a meth FACTORY.
Sometimes it makes me angry that bicyclists are so stupid, but it’s times like these that I’m actually grateful for it. I mean if some guy with even an OUNCE of brains inside his fucking skull was cooking that meth, Pittsburgh’s drug problem would probably be just a little bit worse today. Instead, a bicyclist took the reigns and went on a goddamn joyride with his methpack on.
These are the times when I start to question my crusade against bicyclists. Even the smartest criminals in the world (and don’t you have to be at least a LITTLE smart to cook meth?) become flat out retarded the second they sit on a bicycle. Honestly I’m flat out SHOCKED that they didn’t catch Aaron Hernandez on a bike. Seems like you’d have to be a bicyclists to fuck up a murder that badly. Anyway is catching these criminals worth all the detriment to society that bicycles cause?
Obviously the answer is no, but it’s something to think about.
[Redding Record Searchlight] A man riding his bicycle in Red Bluff early this morning was arrested on suspicion of several drug-related charges after officers said they found a sunglasses case full of methamphetamine that belonged to him.
An officer stopped David Bowman, 33, around 1:14 a.m. on the 600 block of CedarStreet because he was riding his bike without a light, according to the Red Bluff Police Department.
The officer noticed something big in one of Bowman’s pockets, so he tried to remove it, thinking it might have been a weapon, police said.
But before he could, Bowman ran away, eventually being detained by a police dog, officers said.
The officer noticed that the mystery object was no longer in Bowman’s pocket, but then officers said they noticed a sunglasses case in the path where Bowman ran away.
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Ohhhhh, tough luck bro! So close to getting away with it. But I guess these guys will never fucking learn that if you’re going to do something massively illegal like carry around a pocketfull of meth, you probably shouldn’t break a bunch of other laws while you’re at it. To you and me that’s just common sense 101, but to the warped and twisted mind of a bicyclist that sort of logical thought is flat impossible.
I mean literally all this dumb piece of shit had to do was attach a light to his bike. Or just not ride in the dark. Or LEAVE HIS METH AT HOME. Any of those options and he’d have been 100% in the clear. But nope. Bikers gonna bike I guess. They ain’t gonna be stopped by your puny mortal laws, for they are of the immortal BICYCLIST cabal and the laws of man do not apply to them. No use trying to figure out what goes through their heads, you’ll just end up hurting yourself.
PS. In all seriousness though, 1 gram? Really? We’re getting all worked up over 1 gram of meth? I’m pretty sure every time I go to southeast DC I inhale at least a gram of meth ACCIDENTALLY just by walking down the street.
[Philly Curbed] Apparently, the scourge of the Philadelphia roads these days is the flock of two wheeled steel pony pilots: they’re biking upstream (known by those in the know as “salmoning”), running red lights, and causing general mayhem and commotion (okay, this is a small minority of cyclists). But don’t worry, because the Philadelphia Police Department is stepping up their enforcement of bike traffic laws, at least until the end of June.
The Philadelphia Bike Coalition head-honcho noted that “Bicyclists are legal road users just like drivers and walkers”, and stressed that road safety was a priority for the coalition. And bikers aren’t the only targets of the crackdown: motorists and pedestrians should also watch out for the 12 additional traffic cops stationed throughout Center City through the end of June.
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I’m not gonna stand here and tell you that my blog last week singlehandedly shamed the city of Philadelphia into a massive anti-bicyclist crackdown. But at the same time my blog last week definitely singlehanded shamed the city of Philadelphia into a massive anti-bicyclist crackdown, right?
I mean how else am I possibly supposed to interpret this? One week ago the city of Philadelphia is a lawless road warrior wasteland where bicyclists can run red lights and cause accidents at will. Then your boy Falco brings this shit to light, and a few days later a historic crackdown against lawbreaking bicyclists is going down. I’m not saying I need recognition but I kind of think I deserve a medal or something, right? Maybe a key to the city? Kind of ungrateful for the city of Philadelphia to straight up spurn their savior, don’t you think?
But you know what, that’s not why I do this. I don’t do it for the reward. I do for the innocents out there. The Philly pedestrian who can now safely cross the road without fear of being run over. The Philly commuter who can now get to work on time. That’s my reward. I’m no hero. Don’t thank me. The empty bike lanes and rusting bike racks are all the thanks I need.
[Komo News] SEATTLE — A group of skateboarders viciously beat and possibly robbed a cyclist while he was riding home Sunday evening in downtown Seattle, according to the Seattle Police Department.
The victim was riding north in the bike lane on Fourth Avenue sometime between 5 p.m. and 6 p.m. As he approached Pine Street, he saw a group of people with skateboards standing on the corner.
Suddenly, someone in the group rolled their skateboard in front of the victim, who didn’t have time to stop and crashed his bicycle, according to the police report for the incident.
When the victim tried to confront the skateboarder, he was immediately surrounded by the group. A member of the group punched the victim in the face, knocking him to the ground, according to the report.
The victim later told officers the group started kicking him in the head and ribs until he lost consciousness. A handful of Good Samaritans intervened and broke up the attack, according to the report.
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Okay, so obviously I’m not going to defend these skateboarders who beat the absolute fuck out of this bicyclist. They’re not in the right here, not by a longshot. But I’m pretty sure this bicyclist is in the wrong too, right? I mean you see a group of skater punks standing on a street corner and your first instinct is to try and start some shit with them? I don’t care what they did, you’re out of your damn mind dude.
Is it right that he got the shit kicked out of him? Of course not. But is it surprising? Not even a little bit. You gotta pick your battles when it comes to this kind of thing. Take your lumps, get back on your bike, and move on. For all you know they all have guns and are ready to merc your ass back to the stone age.
I guess this really just drives home the point that bicyclists have no idea about their own limitations. They’ve managed to convince themselves that their 25 lb bicycle is somehow going to win a fight against a 4,000 lb car. So really I guess it should come as no surprise that some two-wheeled lunatic would think that taking on basically an entire skateboard gang on his own was a winning battle.
PS. Hey skateboarders, I know I said you were my friends when it comes to the battle against bicycle supremacy, but this shit is a little over the top. Not a good look for our side. Just let them stick to beating the shit out of each other. No need to stoop to their level. We’re better than that. We’re peaceful people. Leave the violence to the savages.
[Jalopnik] The D.C. Bike Party strongly advises that two-wheeled participants in its group rides stay in a group, keep a reasonable speed, and always stop at red lights. This video shows what happens when you break those rules – you get totally smashed.
The crash (which didn’t seem to gravely injure the bicyclist) happened on last Wednesday’s meetup, and while the original video has gone private, recently rips on LiveLeak have been popping up all over the place. Before the original video went completely private, Lia Seremetis, Founder and Head Organizer of DC Bike Party made this comment, reported by InTheCapital.
Yes this happened WHILE DC Bike Party was happening, but you might notice in the video that there really isn’t even evidence of a massive group ride going on— that is because these guys were speeding up in front of the ride marshals and disobeying the rules. It’s extremely unfortunate, and I hope he is alright, but this is what happens when you act like a jerk, and it just plain isn’t representative of the 600 plus people who rode with bike party last week and had a great time.
The moral of the story is that if you ride your bike quickly through red lights, there’s a very good chance you’ll get annihilated by a car. Citi Bike riders take note.
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I don’t really know what to say other than I’m absolutely shocked that I’ve lived in DC as long as I have and didn’t know that the “DC Bike Party” was a thing. Shocked, appalled, and more than a little bit disappointed in myself. Is the DC Bike Party some sort of governing council of bicyclists? Are these the people that control and organize the bicycle menace in our nation’s capital?
Because if that’s the case, I am not ONE BIT surprised that they can’t actually “control” or “organize” anything. If anything I’m shocked that only ONE of their members blatantly disregarded the “ride marshals” and got obliterated by a car. I mean honestly who thought this was a good idea? Hundreds of bicyclists together roaming the congested streets of a major metropolitan area? You put that many pedaling sociopaths together and something is BOUND to happen.
It’s like a little kid having a birthday party at Chuck-E-Cheese. You know you can’t control that many kids. There’s a 100% chance that some kid is gonna not follow the rules and fall down the stairs and brain himself. And you’ve got no one to blame but yourself when the inevitable happens. The only difference is that you can send a disobedient kid to timeout. Try and tell a bicyclist that they’re breaking the law and they’ll have their helmet cam in your face squawking SHARE THE ROAD SHARE THE ROAD like a retarded spandex-clad parrot faster than you can blink.
PS. I do have to give props to this Lia Seremetis lady. She knows bicyclist are unruly. Hell, she’s one of them. She knows they don’t follow the rules of the road or laws of the country. But she’s not their babysitter. She’s not gonna play mommy to 600 bicyclists. You wanna ride straight out into the middle of the road and get hit by a car? Fine by her. It’s a free country. Just don’t come crawling back to the Bike Party looking for sympathy. Lia Seremetis ain’t got none for you. She’ll call you right out for being the asshole that you are. Ride on Lia. Ride on. You can bike in my city any day. Just leave the other 599 assholes who you obviously have no influence over at home.
PPS. How is that bicyclist even ALIVE? It looked like parts of him should have been scattered from Union Station to Bethesda.
[Gainesville Sun] A bicyclist who witnesses said was drunk and repeatedly falling off his bike into traffic was arrested on multiple charges after an officer confronted him and he fled on the bike while making a siren noise with his mouth.
Gainesville Police Department Officer Michael Cavett spotted 57-year old Scott R. Morse of Gainesville as Morse was traveling east on the north side of Archer Road near Butler Plaza. Morse was arguing with bystanders and fell off his bicycle while Cavett watched.
The officer tried to stop Morse using his car lights and siren, but when he exited his police car, Morse mounted his bicycle, made his own siren noise and fled east into westbound traffic.
Cavett gave chase as Morse sprinted north on Southwest 34th Street, with the officer eventually intercepting Morse in the 3400 block of Windmeadows Boulevard. Cavett exited his vehicle and tackled Morse as he turned onto the grass median, according to a statement released by police spokesman Officer Ben Tobias.
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This is one news story I don’t even feel like I need to comment on. I mean just read that headline. Is it even possible to improve on that? No fucking way. The story just tells it like it is. Bicyclist gets drunk. Bicyclist makes WEE WOO WEE WOO noises at cops. Bicyclist flees. Bicyclist gets tackled by cops. It’s flat out impossible to read that and not laugh. It’s a comedic formula as old as “man getting hit by football.”
[Digital Trends] According to a CNET report, a Moscow-based company called LiveMap, is developing a new helmet for bikers that features a head-mounted display, built in navigation and Siri-like voice recognition.
The headgear will feature a translucent, color display that’s projected on the visor in the center of the field of vision and a custom user interface. The helmet’s display features a light sensor for adjusting image brightness based on external light conditions as well as an accelerometer, gyroscope, and digital compass for tracking head movements, according to CNET.
The CNET report notes that unlike visor mounted heads up displays, LiveMap is fully integrated within the helmet and layers information in real space.
The helmet, which features the same type of augmented-reality technology as google glass, will be offered as an English only Android based headgear at launch.
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Listen, I’m a giant tech geek. Like as soon as Google Glass is available, I’ll be the first person in line. I don’t care how stupid it looks right now. You’re telling me I can wear a computer on my FACE and talk to it like a fucking Star Trek computer? GIMME GIMME GIMME.
But that said, the fact that this technology is already being perverted by bicyclists is absolutely unforgivable. And yes I know it’s made for motorcyclists. And motorcyclists are fine. Nothing against them at all. But there’s no way bicyclists aren’t going to start snapping this shit up. They can’t help themselves. These are the same people who spend $16,000 on carbon fiber bicycles. You really think they’re going to bat an eye at dropping another $2,000 on a high-tech helmet? There is nothing on earth more frightening than a man with no morals and a bottomless checkbook. In other words, a bicyclist.
I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say I would rather send humanity straight back to the dark ages than allow this technology to fall into bicyclist hands. Because there is not one single reason a bicyclist would need this technology. Not one. Bicyclists can barely pay attention to the road AS IT IS. Letting bicyclists stick a computer display right in their face is not gonna help the situation. They already don’t pay attention to stop signs and traffic lights. You think things are going to get better if these fucks can browse the internet for pictures of cats or search Amazon for a brand new spandex biking outfit while they ride? Zero chance.
And of course you know that no bicyclist has ever taken responsibility for anything in their entire lives, so I can’t WAIT for the first batch of lawsuits after this technology becomes available. “Your honor, I’m suing the company that made my helmet for $100 million because I would never have run over that child if my helmet hadn’t been DISTRACTING me by displaying THE DIRECTIONS I ASKED FOR.” Guaranteed. 100%-abso-fuckin-lutely guaranteed. You can’t even help bicyclists out by giving them cool toys without it backfiring in your face. It hasn’t even happened yet and I’m already angry about it. Ungrateful savages.
[Philadelphia Daily News via Philebrity] I’M CHILLING with John Street at Darling’s Diner, talking biking while dining. Turns out the Piazza at Schmidt’s hipster haven is a favorite hang of the once-prickly ex-mayor.
One of us is saying, “99 percent [of bicyclists] feel no obligation to obey the law” – and it’s not me. It’s Street, who loves bicycles, rides about 1,000 miles a year, but dismisses bike lanes and admits most bikers are lawbreakers – including himself.
Does he obey the law?
“No. I follow none. Zero.”
He started biking in 1968.
“How could you do that?” I tease, “without bike lanes?”
“Cars just had to get out of my way,” he replies with a grin.
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Hey Philly, nice job. It’s bad enough when cities like Portland, Oregon or New York City cater to bicyclists with their bikeshare programs or their bike lane hegemony. But you went and elected an admitted bicyclist MAYOR. And not only is he a bicyclist, but he’s one of those cavalier bikefucks who just comes right out and admits that he doesn’t give two shits about the law.
Now don’t misunderstand me: in actuality John Street is probably no worse than any other bicyclist on the road. In fact, he’s wrong that 99% of bicyclists think the law doesn’t apply to them. It’s 100%. So I’m not going to sit here and tell you Mayor Street is the worst of the bunch because the reality is that he’s just the same as the rest of them. But when you’re the mayor of a major metropolitan area and your advice to bicyclists is to ride wherever they want and just hope that cars get out of the way, I have to say you should probably be arrested for public endangerment.
We’ve done the math before. We’re talking about a 25 pound aluminum frame with two wheels attached to it up against a road filled with two-ton behemoths that could kill you without even NOTICING. So when your mayor tells you “no no, go for it, run that red light, it’ll be fine,” what he’s doing is essentially the equivalent of telling a 9-year-old to go punch a tiger in the balls. Motherfucker, that tiger will kill you ACCIDENTALLY. And that’s what bicyclists don’t understand. They act like drivers are actively trying to murder them when the fact of the matter is that the safest driver in the world can’t bend the laws of physics and stop his car on a dime when one of these spandex-clad assclowns blows a stop sign and darts out into traffic. If a 4,000 pound boulder is rolling down a hill at me, I’m gonna give it the respect it deserves and jump out of the way, not stand in front of it and yell SHARE THE HILL, ASSHOLE and hope it stops. That’s the fact, jack.
I HATE BICYCLISTS 