Category Archives: Professional Cyclists

Whether 20 Years Old or 90 Years Old, You Can Always Count On A Bicyclist To Dope

[Deadspin] Last July, 90-year-old cyclist Carl Grove was the lone competitor in his age group at the U.S. Masters Track Championships, where he set an age-group world record in the individual pursuit with a time of 3:06:129. Sadly, Grove subsequently … Continue reading

Posted in Drugs, Professional Cyclists | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Best Bicycle Crash Of All Time Is Here, So The Rest Of You Might As Well Stop Bicycling (Seriously, Stop)

Yeah, I know. I’m late on this one. Continue reading

Posted in Professional Cyclists, Stupidity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Lance Armstrong Gives His Bicyclist Detractors A Giant Middle Finger, Says If He Could Go Back In Time He’d Cheat All Over Again

[BBC] Shamed cyclist Lance Armstrong believes the time is coming when he should be forgiven for doping and lying – and told the BBC he would probably do it again. Armstrong, 43, was stripped of his record seven Tour de France … Continue reading

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Wanna See A Slapfight Between Two Professional Cyclists? Of Course You Do

[Deadspin] Man, if there was evidence that cyclists are not really ’bout that life, this incredibly weak slapfest between Ivan Rovny and Gianluca Brambilla during the 16th stage of the Vuelta a España is it. Are they swatting at flies … Continue reading

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Six Bicyclists Are In The Hospital Because They Accidentally Drank Laundry Detergent Before A Race And No I Am Not Making That Up

[Deadspin] Six cyclists preparing to start a race in Østlendingen, Norway, were hospitalized today after they all drank laundry detergent, believing it to be some kind of sports drink. They are all fine, so it’s OK to laugh. The town’s … Continue reading

Posted in Professional Cyclists, Stupidity | Tagged | 1 Comment

I’ve Always Known That Bicyclists Are Disgusting, Filth-Spewing Piss Monsters, And Now I Have Video Proof

[Deadspin] This is a thing that distance bike riders do all the time, but rarely are we lucky enough to catch the magic that is the mid-race piss on camera. The rider, Niki Terpstra from the Omega-Pharma Quick Step team, gets … Continue reading

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Avenging Angel Lance Armstrong Continues To Blaze A Path For Champions Of Truth And Justice Everywhere

[ESPN] Lance Armstrong acknowledges he hasn’t been the nicest guy in the world, but he says if he had to do it over again, he would still dope because everyone else in cycling was doping too. “I knew what my competitors … Continue reading

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