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Recent Posts
- In Maybe the Saddest Development of All Time, Bicyclists Are Now Using “Bike Escalators” to Climb Hills
- Bicyclist Tries to Tattle on Driver to the Police, Promptly Gets Uno Reversed to the Moon
- The COVID-19 Pandemic Has Officially Broken The Bicyclist Community
- I Decided To Research What Bicyclists Eat And What I Found Was Horrifying
- 81-Year-Old Bicyclist Rides Past Airport, Promptly Gets Blown the Fuck Away by Jet Engine
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Monthly Archives: August 2012
BREAKING: Bicyclists Not Actually Exempt From All Laws and Human Decency
Q. Honker: What are the traffic laws regarding bicyclists? Traveling along Santiago Canyon Road, I see bikes going through red lights, crisscrossing traffic lanes, running stop signs. Aren’t they under the same laws as motor vehicles? Does it matter if they are … Continue reading
I Can’t Even Write a Headline, There Are Literally No Fucking Words
Bicycling is cool if you’re going down a mountain or winning the Tour de France. It’s a bit dorky in any other scenario. It makes sense if you live in an urban area, but you are giving up a touch of … Continue reading
Bicyclists Just Flashing Guns at Schools Now
A bicyclist with a holstered handgun was detained by police and released without charges this morning after causing a lockdown at Grand Junction High School. The bicyclist, a man who Grand Junction Police Sgt. Dave Stassen described to be in … Continue reading
Bicyclists Are Such Ridiculous Hypocrites I Can’t Even Stand It
Free speech? Natalie Plummer was reportedly just trying to be neighborly when she spotted a police speed trap on her way home (via bicycle) in Houston. She quickly made and held up a makeshift sign to warn drivers, which the … Continue reading
I Don’t Think I Have Ever in My Life Hated Anyone As Much As I Hate This “World’s Smallest Bicycle” Guy
Finally, a bicycle that fits into a day pack … and a man who knows how to ride it! The accompanying video, which has gone viral during the past few days, shows a Russian cyclist pulling out an entire … Continue reading
Bicyclists Are Literally the Only People in the Entire World Who Think Bicycle Cops Are Totally Awesome
Would you like to see the police utilize bicycle patrols more often? Are you concerned about how the PPB handles marches and protests? The City of Portland and the Portland Police Bureau is forming a new group of citizens to … Continue reading
Posted in Stupidity
Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, inmates running the asylum
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Contender for Dumbest Bicyclist Ever Just Riding Around with Stolen Property and Three Outstanding Warrants
A man stopped by Napa police for a warrant check ended up being booked into jail on suspicion of possessing a wallet, identification and credit cards that had allegedly been reported stolen, police said. Kristopher Scott Booth, a 38-year-old Napa … Continue reading
Posted in Criminals
Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, convict scum, vagabonds
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Bears Stage Non-Violent Protest of Bicyclists Invading Their Homeland
The future of the GranFondo Banff is uncertain after a last minute change to the route of the cycling event was made necessary by the presence of feeding bears. It was the first cycling event of its kind, a 142-kilometer … Continue reading
Posted in Animals
Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, rise up animal kingdom
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So, This Whole Lance Armstrong Thing
I bet you all think I’m gonna hate on Lance Armstrong because I hate bicyclists. But I ain’t mad at him. Sure, Lance shows that even professional cyclists are duplicitous, lying assholes. But Lance is a professional cyclist, not a dipshit city … Continue reading
Another Animal Kingdom Heard From: The Cows Have Chosen a Side
BILLINGS, Mont. (AP) — A construction worker who tried to help police corral a runaway cow said the bovine charged at him “like a bull at a rodeo,” tossing him into the air before continuing its rampage through the streets … Continue reading
Posted in Animals
Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, darwinism, natural selection, rise up animal kingdom
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I HATE BICYCLISTS 