Another Animal Kingdom Heard From: The Cows Have Chosen a Side

BILLINGS, Mont. (AP) — A construction worker who tried to help police corral a runaway cow said the bovine charged at him “like a bull at a rodeo,” tossing him into the air before continuing its rampage through the streets of Montana’s largest city.

The snorting, charging cow ran amok in downtown Billings on Tuesday for more than an hour and a half, terrifying pedestrians and knocking over a bicyclist until a police sniper fired a single shot through its heart.

First off let me just say that I feel bad for the construction worker. Guy was just trying to do his civic duty and help the police corral a runaway animal. Didn’t deserve to have his leg broken by a runaway cow. THAT SAID, the cow is obviously the real victim here. Shot through the heart by a police sniper? What in the fuck?! Dude. It’s a cow. I get it, it’s heavy. But this is MONTANA. How is there not some bored rancher ready to lasso this cow from horseback? That’s what Montana people do right? Pretty sure I read that.

Anyway I think we can all agree that the police sniper must not have seen the cow knock over that bicyclist, because if he had he obviously wouldn’t have shot him. Cow just doin’ his thing. Knocking over dickbag bicyclists. Who could have a problem with that?

And by the way, this fits right into the bicyclist pattern. They don’t even give CARS room to get around them. So is anyone surprised that this asshole saw a rampaging cow and still thought he had the right of way? Seriously how big of an asshole do you have to be to not give a rampaging cow the widest of wide berths. Straight typical.

About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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