Category Archives: Uncategorized

The COVID-19 Pandemic Has Officially Broken The Bicyclist Community

[Wall Street Journal] [NAME REDACTED] used to consider cycling to work at a Toronto, Canada, ad agency every day as part of his identity. He would share harrowing tales of cars cutting him off and him screaming at drivers. Then … Continue reading

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I Decided To Research What Bicyclists Eat And What I Found Was Horrifying

Frankly, the words “malt loaf” made me gag a little right off the bat, but I decided to be open minded. I stifled my vomit and forged ahead, determined to see what exactly bicyclists are stuffing into their bodies. Continue reading

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In Classic Bicyclist Fashion, Bicyclist Assaults Driver And Attempts To Steal Car With Children Still Inside

[ITV] A cyclist with road rage has been jailed after attempting to hijack a family’s car with the owner’s children still sat in the back. Dean David Price, 36, argued with the father who owned the car in the street … Continue reading

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It Appears That, In My Absence, Bicyclists Have Decided That Getting Naked And Assaulting Women Is Just Fine

[FORT WORTH (CBSDFW.COM)] Police have released a sketch of the man they say shed his clothes, hopped on a bicycle naked then chased down a jogger before jumping off and assaulting her on Saturday. A witness saw the man sitting on a … Continue reading

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I Bet You Thought Those Inflatable Bike Helmets Were Pretty Stupid, Didn’t You? Well Guess What, You Were Right!

[Cycling Weekly – Link to Instagram Video] True to the claim that the helmet will deploy at speed, this one went off as a man put on his coat in a shop. The Hövding Airbag helmet was released to much speculation earlier … Continue reading

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The Noble Moose Is The Latest Of Mother Nature’s Beasts To Take A Brave Stand Against Bicyclists

[Great Falls Tribune] BOZEMAN – A bicyclist is recovering from a broken arm after colliding with a mother moose. The Bozeman Daily Chronicle reports Montana Fish, Wildlife and Parks spokeswoman Andrea Jones says signage has been posted warning people about the … Continue reading

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Bono May Never Play Guitar Again Because He Got Run Over By A Bicyclist While Also Riding A Bicycle

[CNN] Bono has shared with fans that recovery from an accident has been slow going and that he’s worried he may never play guitar again. The U2 frontman underwent hours of multiple surgeries in November after a bicycle accident in … Continue reading

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[SB Nation] Yes. Yes, this will do nicely. Don’t worry, poor bicyclist, I’m sure this won’t end up everywhere and you can– — Heh.  

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This Bicyclist Commenter Is NOT Happy With Me

Hoo boy! Settle down, little doggie! I gotta say, I knew there were a lot of bicyclists out there who hate me, but I didn’t realize I was inspiring internet fanfiction about my gruesome murder. This is a whole new … Continue reading

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Apparently DC Is Hosting The “National Bike Summit” Next Month, So I Guess That’s When I’m Going To Kill Myself

[Philadelphia Inquirer] In a few weeks, I’m going to ride my bicycle from New York City to Washington, D.C.  I have never attempted such a feat before — certainly not in the winter! But I’m not crazy, I promise. I’m … Continue reading

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