In Classic Bicyclist Fashion, Bicyclist Assaults Driver And Attempts To Steal Car With Children Still Inside

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[ITV] A cyclist with road rage has been jailed after attempting to hijack a family’s car with the owner’s children still sat in the back. Dean David Price, 36, argued with the father who owned the car in the street after the driver made an emergency stop in Morriston, Swansea.

Swansea Crown Court heard Price of Waun Wen in Swansea, grabbed the man by his neck and punched him in the head. He then jumped into the car and tried to start the engine. The father pulled the keys from the ignition and the court heard Price fled from the scene on foot.

Price, who already has an ‘extensive criminal record’ was arrested a week later. He admitted attempted theft of a car and assault occasioning actual bodily harm. He was jailed for one year and three months.

I know I make a big show of saying there’s nothing these bikefucks can do to shock me anymore, but every so often I come across a story like this that proves to me that they can, in fact, sink even lower.

Bicyclist attempting to steal a car? Yawn. Bicyclist committing assault? Ho hum. Bicyclist attempting to kidnap someone? Been there, done that. But a bicyclist combining all three of those things, with children as the intended victims? Why, that’s a bicyclist triple threat right there. A hat trick. A three-run ding dong. A half-court buzzerbeater. A 65-yard field goal. A golazo from WAY outside the box. You get the idea. Except that, just as bicyclists tend to do with everything they try, he failed.

The only thing I take issue with in this article is that it’s a little bit redundant. A bicyclist with an extensive criminal record? You might as well say “a bird with wings.” These are two things that go hand-in-hand. The population already understands that bicyclists are crooks. You don’t need to spell it out for us. We’ve seen them on the streets running red lights, kicking cars, brandishing weapons, doing every drug under the sun. It’s part and parcel with the bicyclist lifestyle. At a certain point we just need to understand that it’s who they are.

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About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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