Author Archives: Falco

About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.

If You’re Going To Steal A Bicycle From A Gross Barn, Take The Five Seconds To Dust The Cobwebs Off Before You Ride Away

MADISON, Ind. (AP) — Southern Indiana police say a tip from an observant citizen who noticed a cobweb-covered man riding a bicycle led to the arrests of two men for allegedly stealing bikes from a barn. The Jefferson County Sheriff’s … Continue reading

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Keene, NH, The City Of My Childhood, Has Created The Position Of “Bicycle Mayor”

[Keene Sentinel] Tiffany Mannion has always owned a bicycle. The Massachusetts native recalls those first few moments without training wheels, as her father guided her through the parking lot where she first learned to ride. …. On Saturday, Mannion was … Continue reading

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No Shock Here, But Bicyclists Apparently Don’t Even Care About The Safety Of Their Own Children

[Daily Mail] This is the shocking moment a cyclist with a child on the back of his bike was just centimetres away from being taken out by an oncoming car. (click for video) — I gasped when I saw this video. … Continue reading

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In Classic Bicyclist Fashion, Bicyclist Assaults Driver And Attempts To Steal Car With Children Still Inside

[ITV] A cyclist with road rage has been jailed after attempting to hijack a family’s car with the owner’s children still sat in the back. Dean David Price, 36, argued with the father who owned the car in the street … Continue reading

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It Appears That, In My Absence, Bicyclists Have Decided That Getting Naked And Assaulting Women Is Just Fine

[FORT WORTH (CBSDFW.COM)] Police have released a sketch of the man they say shed his clothes, hopped on a bicycle naked then chased down a jogger before jumping off and assaulting her on Saturday. A witness saw the man sitting on a … Continue reading

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Note To Bicyclists: Cutting Off The President’s Motorcade Is Probably Not The Best Idea

[TIME] A New York City bicyclist learned his lesson Thursday after he tried to ride a bicycle in front of President Barack Obama’s motorcade. Video posted by Instagram user mattpeco shows a man on a Citibike bicycle attempting to ride through … Continue reading

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Been A While Since I Posted, Hasn’t It? Anyway, Here’s A Story About A Kangaroo Exploding A Bicyclist’s Fake Boobs

(AP) CANBERRA, Australia — A woman says she and a friend were injured when they were jumped by a kangaroo while cycling in an Australian wine region. Sharon Heinrich, 45, said Monday that she and her friend Helen Salter, 47, were … Continue reading

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