The Noble Moose Is The Latest Of Mother Nature’s Beasts To Take A Brave Stand Against Bicyclists

moosealert

A bicyclist is recovering from a broken arm after colliding with a mother moose. The Bozeman Daily Chronicle reports Montana Fish, Wildlife and Parks spokeswoman Andrea Jones says signage has been posted warning people about the moose, but that she has likely moved on.

The moose and 30-year-old Brian Steddum collided helmet to nose Sunday night after Steddum says he came around a corner on the Bozeman Creek Trail and saw the animal with her calf.

Steddum says he fell, took a kick to the hip, then got back on his bike and fled. An x-ray taken at the hospital shows the ulna bone in his forearm snapped in half. Steddum says he feels lucky it wasn’t worse.

Snapped in HALF? Jesus Christ, man. I’m no fan of bicyclists but I can only imagine what this guy must have done to that poor moose. Did he run over the moose’s calf or something? Did he kill the moose’s mother? As someone born and raised in New Hampshire, I was taught to have a healthy respect for the noble moose. Don’t cross a moose. Don’t agitate it. Definitely don’t hit it with your car. And as always, what you shouldn’t hit with your car, you definitely shouldn’t hit with your bicycle.

I can’t help but wonder why they’re putting up signs to warn people about the moose. Seems to me like all the moose did was stand there minding him own business while some psychotic bicyclist rocketed around the corner and slammed into him at full speed. If anything there should be signs up to warn innocent moose about these crazy bicyclists. Who knows the kind of psychological damage that could stem from some poor baby moose watching his mother or father get repeatedly slammed into by crazy bicyclists in their lycra uniforms and slick, aerodynamic helmets, looking nothing so much like a cadre of colorful magic penises hurtling towards an inevitable doom? It would scar me, and I’m a human being capable of rational thought. I can only imagine the sort of damage it does to a moose calf.

Typical bicyclists. Always claiming to be on the side of nature and mother earth, but in reality they’re just a bunch of idiots attacking innocent wild animals and scarring their children for life. For shame bicyclists, for shame.

(image source)

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About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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3 Responses to The Noble Moose Is The Latest Of Mother Nature’s Beasts To Take A Brave Stand Against Bicyclists

  1. Wtf says:

    You must apparently have some mental issues.

  2. P.A.B says:

    Not only do bikers have to concern of nature as they constantly destroy animal habitats and cause erosion, they don’t do it for a reason. although i don’t approve of it i understand how oil companies or logging companies destroy nature, their doing it to provide goods for us and make a profit. i wish they would be more responsible but its not as big of a deal as bikers. the only reason they destroy nature is to have “fun” and stroke their already enormous egos! keep up the good work falco!

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