Bicyclists Are Literally the Only People in the Entire World Who Think Bicycle Cops Are Totally Awesome

Would you like to see the police utilize bicycle patrols more often? Are you concerned about how the PPB handles marches and protests? The City of Portland and the Portland Police Bureau is forming a new group of citizens to provide input into their training programs. Since there are many ways bicycling intersects with police training, this might be something worth considering for some of you. [Bike Portland]

Yup this is pretty much to be expected. Since it’s long been known that bicyclists ultimate goal is to eliminate every other form of transportation, it’s no surprise that they think cops should pretty much just abandon their cars and all hop on bicycles. Listen I know Portland is a bike friendly city but let’s not just cut the entire police department’s balls off, here.

Seriously is there anyone on the planet earth who has ever been intimidated by a bicycle cop? I’m not sure I’ve ever committed a crime in my life but every time I see a bicycle cop I can’t help but think of all the shit I could get away with if I wanted to. Oh calm down hippies. I know “police aren’t supposed to intimidate people.” Well maybe not but I’m pretty sure they ARE supposed to be able to stop crime. Nobody in the history of the earth has ever committed a crime that made people go, “oh no, if only there had been more bicycle patrols.” Sorry dudes. Not a big fan of investing in a police force that can be foiled by an elevated curb. Personal preference thing I guess.

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About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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