Wanna See A Slapfight Between Two Professional Cyclists? Of Course You Do

[Deadspin] Man, if there was evidence that cyclists are not really ’bout that life, this incredibly weak slapfest between Ivan Rovny and Gianluca Brambilla during the 16th stage of the Vuelta a España is it. Are they swatting at flies or trying to hit each other?

I guess if their ultimate goal was to stay on their bikes and in the race, they succeeded, but not like that was going to matter. They were both booted from the tournament before the stage ended. If you’re going to get kicked out anyway, might as well connect a couple solid shots.

Never have these eyes seen anything that better sums up what it is to be a bicyclist. Just a couple of grown men slapping each other like six-year-old girls in the middle of a professional bike race. 

Just to be clear, this doesn’t shock me. I long for the days when professional cyclists were jammed so full of steroids that they could barely function. We never saw this sort of thing when Lance Armstrong was winning Tour de France after Tour de France. Why? Because he and every other bicyclist were pumped so full of testosterone that a disagreement like this would have resulted in someone getting run the fuck off the road. Professional cyclists today just live in a different world. There’s such an excess of estrogen floating around that I’m surprised this video didn’t end with them both in tears. 

So get used to this, bicyclists. The more you shun American Hero Lance Armstrong, the more these two slap-happy pussies become the face of your “sport.” 

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About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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One Response to Wanna See A Slapfight Between Two Professional Cyclists? Of Course You Do

  1. Pingback: The Best Bicycle Crash Of All Time Is Here, So The Rest Of You Might As Well Stop Bicycling (Seriously, Stop) | I HATE BICYCLISTS

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