Apparently Philadelphia Heard My Cries Because They Are Cracking The Fuck Down On These Lawless Two-Wheeled Sociopaths

bikearrest

[Philly Curbed] Apparently, the scourge of the Philadelphia roads these days is the flock of two wheeled steel pony pilots: they’re biking upstream (known by those in the know as “salmoning”), running red lights, and causing general mayhem and commotion (okay, this is a small minority of cyclists). But don’t worry, because the Philadelphia Police Department is stepping up their enforcement of bike traffic laws, at least until the end of June.

The Philadelphia Bike Coalition head-honcho noted that “Bicyclists are legal road users just like drivers and walkers”, and stressed that road safety was a priority for the coalition. And bikers aren’t the only targets of the crackdown: motorists and pedestrians should also watch out for the 12 additional traffic cops stationed throughout Center City through the end of June.

I’m not gonna stand here and tell you that my blog last week singlehandedly shamed the city of Philadelphia into a massive anti-bicyclist crackdown. But at the same time my blog last week definitely singlehanded shamed the city of Philadelphia into a massive anti-bicyclist crackdown, right?

I mean how else am I possibly supposed to interpret this? One week ago the city of Philadelphia is a lawless road warrior wasteland where bicyclists can run red lights and cause accidents at will. Then your boy Falco brings this shit to light, and a few days later a historic crackdown against lawbreaking bicyclists is going down. I’m not saying I need recognition but I kind of think I deserve a medal or something, right? Maybe a key to the city? Kind of ungrateful for the city of Philadelphia to straight up spurn their savior, don’t you think?

But you know what, that’s not why I do this. I don’t do it for the reward. I do for the innocents out there. The Philly pedestrian who can now safely cross the road without fear of being run over. The Philly commuter who can now get to work on time. That’s my reward. I’m no hero. Don’t thank me. The empty bike lanes and rusting bike racks are all the thanks I need.

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About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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One Response to Apparently Philadelphia Heard My Cries Because They Are Cracking The Fuck Down On These Lawless Two-Wheeled Sociopaths

  1. B. says:

    now if only my state would realize how fucktarded allowing these dumbasses to ride on HIGHWAYS is…we might have some forward progress….

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