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Recent Posts
- In Maybe the Saddest Development of All Time, Bicyclists Are Now Using “Bike Escalators” to Climb Hills
- Bicyclist Tries to Tattle on Driver to the Police, Promptly Gets Uno Reversed to the Moon
- The COVID-19 Pandemic Has Officially Broken The Bicyclist Community
- I Decided To Research What Bicyclists Eat And What I Found Was Horrifying
- 81-Year-Old Bicyclist Rides Past Airport, Promptly Gets Blown the Fuck Away by Jet Engine
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Author Archives: Falco
Portland’s ‘Hipster Bandit’ Flees Crime Scene on a Bike Because Of Course He Does
PORTLAND — A man police dubbed the “Hipster Bandit” was arrested in connection with five bank robberies after police found him riding a bicycle away from a Northeast Portland bank that had just been robbed. Police were called last Friday … Continue reading
Posted in Criminals
Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, convict scum, Portland Fucking Oregon, road warrior, stupid twats
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New York Bicyclists Demand ‘Bike-Specific Stoplights’ As Though They’re Going to Fucking Listen to Those Either
UPPER EAST SIDE — The turf war between pedestrians and cyclists continues in Central Park, as critics of wayward bikers demanded the Department of Transportation install bike-specific stoplights along the cycling path. At a recent Community Board 8 Transportation Committee meeting, several … Continue reading
Posted in Stupidity
Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, crybabies, inmates running the asylum, natural selection, New York, road warrior, stupid twats
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Barry Bonds Buys $16,000 Bike, Confirms His Status As Hall of Fame Douche
That Bonds likes to bike shouldn’t come as a big surprise, though. As was reported last spring, the 48-year-old has traded trying to hit for cycles — as well as, uh, staying on them(allegedly) — for the type that comes with two … Continue reading
Posted in Stupidity
Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, disappointments, stupid twats
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Bicyclists Just Wearing Their Clothes Upside-Down and Shitting All Over Themselves in Public Now
INDIAN RIVER SHORES, Fla., Nov. 15 (UPI) — Police in Florida said they arrested a cyclist clad only in an upside-down shirt and boxer shorts who smelled like he had defecated on himself. The Indian River Shores Department of Public Safety … Continue reading
Posted in Criminals
Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, convict scum, natural selection, road warrior, savages, stupid twats, vagabonds
1 Comment
Bicyclist Doesn’t Give a Fuck, Just Leads an Entire Road Race Off Course
Runners in a 10k race in Newcastle went the wrong way after mistaking a passing cyclist for their course guide. Many of the 530 athletes in the Heaton Harriers Memorial 10K mistook a member of the public wearing a bright … Continue reading
Posted in Stupidity
Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, stupid twats, vagabonds
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Heroic Advertising Campaign Tells Bicyclists “Don’t Be a Stupid Twat”
Everyone seems to be talking about cycle safety right now, what with the injuries to both Bradley Wiggins and Shane Sutton over the past week. But London-based ad firm Karmarama have taken it upon themselves to solve the problem with … Continue reading
Posted in Stupidity
Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, heroes, road warrior, stupid twats
1 Comment
BREAKING: UNTHINKABLE HAPPENS, AMERICA SENDS BICYCLIST BACK TO WHITE HOUSE
Now on the one hand this blog has nothing to do with politics, so I should probably just refrain from commenting on the election. But on the other hand I kind of have to, right? I mean do you really … Continue reading
Shock of the Day: Bicyclist Beats the Shit Out of an Old Man Because He Couldn’t Take His Bike on the Subway
(VIDEO) San Francisco police have released a surveillance video of a bicyclist attacking a Muni station agent who told the cyclist couldn’t take his bike on the subway at Van Ness Statio. Investigators hope making the video public will help … Continue reading
Bicyclists Formulating a Strategy, Going After the Gas
A young man bicycled up to a Bethlehem Lukoil gas station near Route 22 on Tuesday night, pulled a handgun on a cashier and emptied the cash register inside, according to police radio reports. It was the fifth confirmed Lehigh … Continue reading
Posted in Criminals
Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, convict scum, road warrior, savages
1 Comment
Bicyclists Now Strapping $600 Plastic Bags to Their Heads in the Name of Safety and I See No Way This Could Go Wrong
(VIDEO) Sure, a bicycle helmet can save your life in an accident, but it can also be murder on your freshly coifed hair. Now there’s an alternative — an airbag for your head. And like the ones in your car, … Continue reading
I HATE BICYCLISTS 