Shock of the Day: Bicyclist Beats the Shit Out of an Old Man Because He Couldn’t Take His Bike on the Subway


San Francisco police have released a surveillance video of a bicyclist attacking a Muni station agent who told the cyclist couldn’t take his bike on the subway at Van Ness Statio.

Investigators hope making the video public will help them identify the suspect. The video shows the cyclist coming down a flight of stairs followed by someone (apparently the agent), putting down his bicycle then kicking and hitting someone off-screen.

The assault happened Oct. 10 around 7:40 p.m. after the bicyclist tried to pass through the fare gates at the station with his bike, police said.

The station agent on duty, a 55-year-old man, told the bicyclist he could not bring his bike into the station, but the man ignored him, lifted his bike over the railing and jumped over the railing himself. [San Francisco Chronicle]

Now let me just start off by saying that anyone who saw this happen and didn’t immediately kick this hipster fuck’s teeth in is the lowest of human scum. Anyone who just sat there and watched Topher (I just assume that’s his name) and his mohawk kick the shit out of some old guy should be publicly shamed.

With that out of the way, well well well! I can totally understand where this uptight hipster was coming from. Bicyclists spend all day every day telling you how bicycles are the superior form of transportation and nobody should use any other method of transportation ever. That’s a fact. So it’s understandable that Topher here didn’t want any attention drawn to the fact that he was blatantly admitting the superiority of the subway.

I mean it’s shameful enough to admit that you aren’t man enough to ride your own bike home. I mean, what’s the excuse here? “Well it was downhill coming in, it’s all uphill going back.” Hoo boy yeah, it would suck to have to actually pedal and get that great workout bicyclists are always raving about. So yeah, I totally get it. Dude was being a hypocrite and a pussy all at once. No wonder he got pissed off at someone drawing attention to him. Typical bicyclist, man.

About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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1 Response to Shock of the Day: Bicyclist Beats the Shit Out of an Old Man Because He Couldn’t Take His Bike on the Subway

  1. Pingback: Angry Cyclist Beats Down Muni Agent

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