Bicyclist Doesn’t Give a Fuck, Just Leads an Entire Road Race Off Course

Runners in a 10k race in Newcastle went the wrong way after mistaking a passing cyclist for their course guide.

Many of the 530 athletes in the Heaton Harriers Memorial 10K mistook a member of the public wearing a bright yellow top for the lead bike..

Les Venmore from Heaton Harriers said the cyclist rode past “at the wrong time”, leaving the runners in “a mess”.

He told the BBC that the race was re-started and the problem was solved straightaway.

In a statement on its website the Heaton Harriers committee said the confusion occurred soon after the race had started, near the park’s lake.

“The cyclist was dressed in fluorescent clothing and as the leading group of runners ran closer to him they mistook him to be a race official and mistakenly followed him to the right instead of carrying straight on,” it said. [Orange]

Nothing to see here, just a bicyclist whizzing past a group of 500 people and never considering for a second that maybe something that didn’t involve him was going on. Seriously how do you just accidentally let this happen? Is this the slowest biker in the fucking world? How slow would you have to go to let people running a road race keep pace with you? It’s not like they’re sprinting. These are middle-aged people in the middle of a fitness fad running a 10k. They’re basically going so little above walking speed that it causes me a little bit of physical pain every time I have to actually call them “runners.”

The only explanation that I can imagine is that this bicyclist did this with malice aforethought. Like he has to know that runners are pretty much delirious and basically incapable of higher brain function while they’re racing. Dude knew what was up. It’s just a good thing the race officials figured out what was going on before he could lead the whole group over a cliff. Because make no mistake that’s definitely what he was planning. Good try bicyclist, but I know your game.

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About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
This entry was posted in Stupidity and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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