Barry Bonds Buys $16,000 Bike, Confirms His Status As Hall of Fame Douche

That Bonds likes to bike shouldn’t come as a big surprise, though. As was reported last spring, the 48-year-old has traded trying to hit for cycles — as well as, uh, staying on them(allegedly) — for the type that comes with two wheels. Bonds tools around on a $16,000 Pinarello racing bike, entered the 2011 El Tour de Tucson and recently arrived in Aspen to take the 3 1/2-hour trip up to Independence Pass.

Anything, apparently, to keep his mind off the fact that he’s going to be “very sad” if he doesn’t get into the Hall of Fame on his first try this winter. [Yahoo Sports]

Never has the phrase “tools around” been more appropriate. In all honesty I’m just surprised it took Barry Bonds this long to buy an obnoxiously priced bicycle and flaunt it around to the media. I mean what did Barry Bonds enjoy most when he was playing baseball? Not following the rules and pissing people off. Now, I’m the last person to criticize Barry Bonds for using steroids, but the fact remains that after leaving baseball he obviously needed a new series of rules to break and the rules of the road probably seemed like a nice easy bunch of rules to start off with.

This just confirms Barry Bonds as a Hall of Fame Douche. I mean think about it: Barry Bonds wanted to be the greatest of all time, but in reality he’s just a giant follower. Just goes with the pack. Like look at baseball: everyone gets all pissy at old Barry just because he used steroids. News flash: everyone and their mother was using steroids.  Barry wasn’t doing anything new, he was just going with the flow. Just like bicycling. What’s Barry doing that’s revolutionary? Absolutely nothing. Just running red lights and cutting off motorists like every other bicyclist. Honestly it’s fucking pathetic. Listen Barry if you want people to start taking notice of you you’re going to have to start breaking some bigger rules. Get off your ass and try robbing a bank or something.

About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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