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Recent Posts
- In Maybe the Saddest Development of All Time, Bicyclists Are Now Using “Bike Escalators” to Climb Hills
- Bicyclist Tries to Tattle on Driver to the Police, Promptly Gets Uno Reversed to the Moon
- The COVID-19 Pandemic Has Officially Broken The Bicyclist Community
- I Decided To Research What Bicyclists Eat And What I Found Was Horrifying
- 81-Year-Old Bicyclist Rides Past Airport, Promptly Gets Blown the Fuck Away by Jet Engine
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Author Archives: Falco
Contender for Dumbest Bicyclist Ever Just Riding Around with Stolen Property and Three Outstanding Warrants
A man stopped by Napa police for a warrant check ended up being booked into jail on suspicion of possessing a wallet, identification and credit cards that had allegedly been reported stolen, police said. Kristopher Scott Booth, a 38-year-old Napa … Continue reading
Posted in Criminals
Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, convict scum, vagabonds
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Bears Stage Non-Violent Protest of Bicyclists Invading Their Homeland
The future of the GranFondo Banff is uncertain after a last minute change to the route of the cycling event was made necessary by the presence of feeding bears. It was the first cycling event of its kind, a 142-kilometer … Continue reading
Posted in Animals
Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, rise up animal kingdom
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So, This Whole Lance Armstrong Thing
I bet you all think I’m gonna hate on Lance Armstrong because I hate bicyclists. But I ain’t mad at him. Sure, Lance shows that even professional cyclists are duplicitous, lying assholes. But Lance is a professional cyclist, not a dipshit city … Continue reading
Another Animal Kingdom Heard From: The Cows Have Chosen a Side
BILLINGS, Mont. (AP) — A construction worker who tried to help police corral a runaway cow said the bovine charged at him “like a bull at a rodeo,” tossing him into the air before continuing its rampage through the streets … Continue reading
Posted in Animals
Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, darwinism, natural selection, rise up animal kingdom
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Does This Bicyclist Seriously Think There Are Single-Issue Bike Lane Voters Out There?
But even saurian brains can’t be that small. Bikes must occasionally leave bike lanes, just as buses occasionally leave bus lanes. And although rudeness and stupidity are as common among cyclists as others, a few random failures do not a … Continue reading
Ho Hum: Just More Bicyclists Getting Naked and Peeing on Buildings
The relationship between some residents in San Antonio and the bicyclists that pedal through the town multiple times a week – if not daily – has been rocky. Both sides have levied serious complaints. Some residents have seen cyclists disrobe … Continue reading
Insurance Company Says Bicyclists Should Have to be Safety Trained Like Drivers, Bicyclists Predictably Go Fucking Bananas
An open letter from a motor insurance company to Secretary of State for Transport Justine Greening that called for all cyclists to be required to “undergo compulsory training and testing before they take to the road” has attracted strong criticism … Continue reading
Posted in Stupidity
Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, convict scum, natural selection, road warrior
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Bicyclists Continue to Thwart Justice, Prevent Police from Ticketing Them for Doing Illegal Shit
Earlier this month, police officers in the City of Roseburg tried to strengthen their authority to ticket people who do not ride in bike lanes. They thought they could sneak an agenda item through City Council and be on their way. … Continue reading
Posted in Criminals
Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, inmates running the asylum, road warrior, vagabonds
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Bicyclist Crashes into Cop Car While Fleeing with Stolen TV
PORT CHARLOTTE, Fla.- Charlotte County Sheriff’s deputies arrested a man who stole a television in a box from the Port Charlotte Walmart and fled with it on his bicycle. He was arrested when he crashed into the back of … Continue reading
Posted in Criminals
Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, convict scum, natural selection
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Bicyclist Hunts Down Dude Who Stole His $2,500 Bike…Hang On, Did You Say $2,500 Bike?
SEATTLE (AP) — Jake Gillum loves his bike. So when it got stolen in Portland, Ore., while he was on a date, he was determined to get it back. The quest seemed hopeless, but a week of poring over online postings for his … Continue reading
Posted in Criminals
Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, convict scum, disappointments
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I HATE BICYCLISTS 