Ho Hum: Just More Bicyclists Getting Naked and Peeing on Buildings

The relationship between some residents in San Antonio and the bicyclists that pedal through the town multiple times a week – if not daily – has been rocky.

Both sides have levied serious complaints.

Some residents have seen cyclists disrobe in parking lots to change out of riding gear into street clothes. Others have seen a few cyclists relieve themselves on the side of buildings. [Tampa Tribune]

Yawn. Old news. Bicyclists getting naked in public? I feel like I’ve written about this about 700 times by now. There really isn’t much left to say other than that it confirms that what bicyclists really want is attention.  At their core all they are is physically fit exhibitionists. To them, the bicycle is really just an accessory to get people to pay attention to them. Doesn’t matter what kind of attention they want. Maybe they want to brag about their environmentalism. Maybe they want to brag about how far they biked that one time. Maybe they just want somebody to see their dick. Different strokes I guess.

My favorite part of this one is the “changing out of riding gear” part. Because it pretty much solidifies them as douchebags. You know what “riding gear” is to me? Shorts and a t-shirt. Not these professionals. These are the guys riding around in spandex jerseys like they’re heading off to a training session with Lance Armstrong. Relax bro. You’re biking to your job at the Kroger on a $45 used Schwinn. I think Lance will understand if you throw on a t-shirt.

About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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