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Recent Posts
- In Maybe the Saddest Development of All Time, Bicyclists Are Now Using “Bike Escalators” to Climb Hills
- Bicyclist Tries to Tattle on Driver to the Police, Promptly Gets Uno Reversed to the Moon
- The COVID-19 Pandemic Has Officially Broken The Bicyclist Community
- I Decided To Research What Bicyclists Eat And What I Found Was Horrifying
- 81-Year-Old Bicyclist Rides Past Airport, Promptly Gets Blown the Fuck Away by Jet Engine
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Author Archives: Falco
Bicyclists Just Getting Drunk and Punching Female Cops Now
A drunk cyclist has been accused of attacking a female police officer in Cairns. The cyclist was stopped on suspicion of riding while over the limit on Thursday night. Police allege he punched the 37-year-old officer several times in the … Continue reading
Posted in Criminals
Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, convict scum, road warrior, vagabonds
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If You Hate Lance Armstrong, You Hate America
Listen I know I touched on this Lance Armstrong bullshit before, but now that it’s back in the news it’s important to remember one thing: if you suddenly hate Lance Armstrong now, you are basically a terrorist. See the thing … Continue reading
Bicyclist Runs Three Red Lights in About 10 Seconds, NYPD Hero Lowers the BOOM
One Brooklyn cyclist says he was hit with a $1,555 ticket for running three red lights in a row. It’s not why he was ticketed that has us stumped, but how. The cyclist, who asked the Gothamist to keep his name anonymous, says the officer … Continue reading
Posted in Criminals
Tagged balance the budget, bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, convict scum, darwinism, heroes, natural selection
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Bicyclists Not Just Robbing Old Ladies Anymore; Now Curb Stomping Them Too
A 62-year-old retired woman fell victim to a bag thief after missing her bus on a Saturday morning shopping trip, a judge was told. The victim was walking to Brownhills to catch another bus into Walsall town centre when she … Continue reading
Posted in Criminals
Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, convict scum, road warrior, savages
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News of the Week That Should Surprise No One: Bicyclists Still Riding Around Naked and Traumatizing Women
COLUMBUS, Ohio – A man is being charged with public indecency after allegedly riding his bicycle while naked. Paul James Donahue was arrested on Monday afternoon after a witness said that he saw Donahue, 43, naked on his bicycle riding past … Continue reading
Posted in Criminals
Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, convict scum, perverts, road warrior, vagabonds
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Because Regular Bicycles Aren’t Flimsy Enough, Cardboard Bicycles Are Now Apparently a Thing
A bicycle made of cardboard may seem an unlikely form of transport – but one inventor claims to have developed one that costs just £10 to make. By folding over sheets to double their strength, he claims the machine is … Continue reading
Bicyclists No Longer Content With Just Obstructing Traffic, Now Delaying Your Train Rides Too
A bicyclist who rode down the ramp of a CTA Blue Line station on the West Side on Wednesday morning was not seriously injured after he lost control of his bike and wound up on the tracks. The CTA was … Continue reading
Posted in Criminals
Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, darwinism, natural selection, public transportation, road warrior
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Bicyclist Rides Around in Circles, Sits on the Ground, Tells Everyone He Got Hit By a Car
NAPLES, FL – Naples Police arrested a bicyclist after he lied about having been hit by a vehicle that fled the scene of the accident at 15th Avenue North and 10th Street North, according to police reports. According to reports, Naples … Continue reading
Looks Like DC Is Starting to Catch On
This morning, commuters walking to the Metro who got a copy of the Washington Examiner tabloid saw a cover that shouts, “Motorists fuming as bicyclists pack roads; Everyone angry at clueless Bikeshare riders.” Whoever did the layout even put it … Continue reading
Bicyclists Running Over Little Old Ladies Now Because They Just Don’t Give a Fuck
A writer has called for the introduction of a “cycling licence” after her elderly mother was knocked down and injured twice in a month. Petronella Wyatt said many riders were “rogues” and “as low as the meanest hit-men”. Her mother … Continue reading
Posted in Criminals
Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, convict scum, road warrior, vagabonds
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I HATE BICYCLISTS 