Bicyclist Rides Around in Circles, Sits on the Ground, Tells Everyone He Got Hit By a Car

NAPLES, FL – Naples Police arrested a bicyclist after he lied about having been hit by a vehicle that fled the scene of the accident at 15th Avenue North and 10th Street North, according to police reports.

According to reports, Naples Police received a 9-1-1 call from Ergy Staco around noon on Sunday. Staco said he was riding his bicycle when he collided with a vehicle that fled the scene.

When police and EMTs arrived, he said he could not feel his legs, reports said.

Staco was placed in a neck brace and onto a back board and taken to the hospital.

Police could not find any physical evidence of an accident and found no damage to the bicycle, reports said.

While investigating, an employee of the City of Naples water plant walked up to the officer and told the officer that the plant had surveillance video.

The surveillance video showed Staco riding his bicycle south on the sidewalk on the east side of 10th Street North. The video then showed Staco ride his bike into the northbound lane of the street, reports said.

An SUV swerved around Staco, but did not strike him, reports said.

According to the video, Staco rode his bicycle in circles, then laid it down on the sidewalk and Staco laid down onto the sidewalk, reports said.

The officer noted Staco was in the exact same location when he arrived to the scene. [NBC Naples]

So here’s the thing. I try to stay away from commenting on stories where bicyclists suffer real, actual injuries, because that’s not funny. No matter how big a dick a bicyclist may be, he still doesn’t deserve to be run over by a car.

But Ergy here is just trying to change the game completely! I mean if bicyclists are just gonna straight up fake accidents, how am I supposed to know what’s real and what’s not? This guy is just fucking up the game for all bicyclists. Now every time I hear about a bicyclist getting hit by a car, in the back of my mind I’m gonna have to wonder if they’re pulling an Ergy Staco and faking the whole thing. Is it fair? Of course not. But it’s also not fair for Ergy here to go besmirching the good name of Naples drivers. I mean what was the plan here? “Raise awareness” for bike lanes or something? Just to get in the news? So many questions, so few answers.

PS. What’s the deal with these paramedics? Literally not a scratch on his entire body and they strap him to a back board with a neck brace. Come on guys. Get your shit together.

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About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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2 Responses to Bicyclist Rides Around in Circles, Sits on the Ground, Tells Everyone He Got Hit By a Car

  1. I didn’t even read this, but I am a cyclist and I am pretty offended. I obey all laws and now them well. You sir are an ill informed person and pretty arrogant. If I saw you in person, I would kick your butt and it would feel so nice. 🙂

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