Author Archives: Falco

About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.

Serious Question: Is Bloomberg Secretly Trying To Kill Every Bicyclist In New York City?

Posted on May 2, 2013 by Falco

[CBS New York, via our friends at Hoboken411] Across Manhattan, bike share docking stations are spreading, and so is the backlash. Even people excited about the program say they’re upset over the implementation. Call it “installation frustration.” The bike share docking station moved into position … Continue reading →

Posted in Stupidity | Tagged bicyclist, bike, biker, Bikeshare, biking, natural selection, New York, road warrior, stupid twats | Leave a comment

Big Fucking Surprise: In All That Time I Was Away, Bicyclists Still Haven’t Stopped Trying To Kidnapp Little Kids

Posted on May 1, 2013 by Falco

[The Age] Police are investigating whether the attempted abduction of a nine-year-old girl in Melbourne’s north could have been carried out by the same man who attempted to sexually assault a woman in the area last week. Detectives from the … Continue reading →

Posted in Criminals | Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, convict scum, failures, road warrior, savages, stupid twats, vagabonds | 2 Comments

I Could Watch This Bicyclist Get Run Over By A Motorcycle All Day Long And Not Get Tired Of It

Posted on April 30, 2013 by Falco

[Gizmodo] First off, save me your fucking moralizing: everybody walked away from this just fine, which means it is absolutely 100% fine to laugh at this bicyclist getting flipped 7 feet in the air and landing on his fucking brainstem. … Continue reading →

Posted in Stupidity | Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, road warrior | 13 Comments

Not to Be Outdone, Bicyclist Decides to Beat TWO Cops Half to Death

Posted on February 13, 2013 by Falco

TWO police officers were punched in the face after stopping a man on a bicycle in White Rock, south of Cairns. The officers were attacked around 11.30pm on Thursday night on Skull Rd, leaving one with facial fractures. It has been … Continue reading →

Posted in Criminals | Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, convict scum, road warrior, savages, stupid twats | Leave a comment

Bicyclist All Pissed Off Because He’s Afraid His Insurance Company Will Think He Drives the Wrong Way Down One-Way Streets and Doesn’t Stop at Stop Signs Just Because He Drove the Wrong Way Down a One-Way Street and Didn’t Stop at a Stop Sign

Posted on February 6, 2013 by Falco

APOPKA, Fla. – An Orange County man who received two citations while riding his bicycle on a narrow, dead-end street may face an even bigger legal battle. Local 6 first reported on Sunday that Gary Elswick, 51, received two citations for failing … Continue reading →

Posted in Criminals | Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, crybabies, stupid twats | 5 Comments

Lance Armstrong Says Pro Bicycling’s Leaders Are on Cancer’s Side and Honestly Who Are You Going to Believe, a Bunch of Asshole Bicyclist Leaders or Lance Fucking Armstrong, American Hero?

Posted on January 23, 2013 by Falco

Lance Armstrong blames cycling’s governing body for the spread of the cancer that nearly killed him and told a team-mate that it was his ‘card to play’ if he ever faced any ‘doping problem.’ … Vaughters stated: ‘Early on at a … Continue reading →

Posted in Professional Cyclists | Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, heroes, Lance Armstrong | 4 Comments

Three Bicyclists Somehow Manage to Get Lost in the Middle of the Fucking Forest

Posted on January 22, 2013 by Falco

NEWPORT-Three bicyclists riding trails in the Martha Sundquist State Forest late on Friday, Jan. 11, got lost for two and one-half hours before rescuers found them safe and uninjured. Lt. C.J. Ball of the Cocke County Sheriff’s Department said the … Continue reading →

Posted in Stupidity | Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, darwinism, mother nature, natural selection, stupid twats, the earth protects itself | Leave a comment

Hero Cop Writes Bicyclist a Ticket for Being a Dick, Now People Are Angry Because He Didn’t Have a “Real Reason” or Something

Posted on January 22, 2013 by Falco

A Los Angeles cop is now under investigation after he gave a cyclist a ticket “for arguing with me.” According to NBC News, the officer’s conduct is under investigation after a video of him ticketing a bicyclist who told him he was blocking … Continue reading →

Posted in Criminals | Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, convict scum, crybabies, heroes, stupid twats | Leave a comment

Mother Nature Continues To Do Her Part: Trees Now Eating Bicycles

Posted on January 3, 2013 by Falco

A young boy’s lost bicycle has led to a unique piece of natural roadside art on Washington state’sVashon Island, over 50 years later. Traveling off of Vashon Highway, about 50 feet into the woods behind the local Sound Food Café, travelers … Continue reading →

Posted in Mother Nature | Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, mother nature, stupid twats, the earth protects itself | Leave a comment

DC Now Going Out of Its Way to Encourage Inexperienced Bicyclists to Clog Up the Streets of the Fucking Capital

Posted on December 24, 2012 by Falco

The District passed a new law proponents say will give cyclists a better chance of filing a lawsuit against motorists who purposely try to harm them. “This is a little extra protection for the most egregious type of assaults and … Continue reading →

Posted in Stupidity | Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, darwinism, DC, natural selection, road warrior, stupid twats | 1 Comment