Author Archives: Falco

About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.

Hey Philadelphia, How Would You Like To Spend A Million Taxpayer Dollars On A Bike Race? No? Well Too Fucking Bad!

[Philadelphia Inquirer] After 30 years of being largely privately financed, the professional bike race that features the Manayunk Wall was formally taken over by the city, which assumed its financial liabilities. The cost to taxpayers? So far, $1.029 million – … Continue reading

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Bicyclists Are Just Up And Murdering War Hero Combat Dogs Now

[Fox News] A bomb-sniffing combat dog named Mike survived two tours of duty in Iraq but not the streets of a bucolic little town in Wyoming. The 9-year-old Belgian Malinois was shot and killed in Powell last Saturday by a … Continue reading

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If You’re Thinking Of Going For A Bike Ride In Australia, The Kangaroos Would Like You To Think Again

[Canberra Times] A cyclist has filmed an “unnerving” encounter with a group of kangaroos on Melbourne’s north-eastern outskirts. Ben Vezina was riding in Hawkstowe Park near Hurstbridge on Sunday when he came across the mobbing marsupials down a deserted dirt track. In … Continue reading

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Donald Trump Declaring That He Will “Never Ever Ride A Bicycle” Has Me Feeling Pretty Conflicted

[RealClearPolitics] DONALD TRUMP: How would you like to be Israel right now? They relied on us. They’re a voice of sanity. They’re great people. And we have a deal that is so incompetent, so bad. Think of the deal. We make … Continue reading

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Cab Driver Expresses Frustration With Bicyclist, Bicyclist Reacts Completely Reasonably By Cutting Him Off And Sitting On His Car Until Police Arrive

[Metro] Maybe one day cyclists and drivers will get on. Until then, we give you this latest piece of road rage. An irate cyclist climbed on top of a taxi after he claimed to have been sworn at by the driver. Pictures … Continue reading

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No Headline Has Ever Surprised Me Less Than “Gun-Toting Bicyclist Arrested With Drugs”

[KXXV] WACO – A man is in jail after running from authorities following a bicycle traffic stop. Police say they pulled the man over around 2:15 Tuesday morning in the 2100 block of Dutton Ave. because he was riding his bike … Continue reading

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The Best Bicycle Crash Of All Time Is Here, So The Rest Of You Might As Well Stop Bicycling (Seriously, Stop)

Yeah, I know. I’m late on this one. Continue reading

Posted in Professional Cyclists, Stupidity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

The Noble Moose Is The Latest Of Mother Nature’s Beasts To Take A Brave Stand Against Bicyclists

[Great Falls Tribune] BOZEMAN – A bicyclist is recovering from a broken arm after colliding with a mother moose. The Bozeman Daily Chronicle reports Montana Fish, Wildlife and Parks spokeswoman Andrea Jones says signage has been posted warning people about the … Continue reading

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Wanna See A Bicyclist Run A Red Light And Plow Straight Into The Side Of A Bus? Of Course You Do

[Manchester Evening News] This shocking footage shows the moment that a Manchester cyclist rode through a red traffic light – and straight into the side of the bus. The video shows the cyclist riding up to the traffic lights in … Continue reading

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Bicyclists Officially Declare Themselves Enemies Of Beer, Stage The Most Pathetic Vehicular Assault Of All Time

[Fittish] On Saturday, May 23, Minneapolis-based haters of the 16-seat drinker-powered mobile pubs could contain their loathing no longer, posting a call on the local“I hate the Pedal Pub” Facebook page for fellow haters to meet at a local park at … Continue reading

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