Does This Look Like The Face Of A Bicyclist Arrested For Impersonating A Police Officer?

bikeface

[WIBX 950] A Lockport man was arrested, charged with impersonating a state trooper.

46-Year-old Richard Godfrey was taken into custody after residents called 911 when a man on a bicycle knocked on their door, identified himself as a trooper, and asked for help.

He left the house and is accused of then becoming combative.  According to a written release from New York State Police, Godfrey allegedly threatening to harm the actual troopers when they caught up with him. Godfrey is facing the following charges:

  • Criminal Impersonation (first degree, a felony)
  • Resisting Arrest
  • Harassment (second degree)

Listen, I admit that I don’t have a particularly well-developed criminal mind. I’ve spent my life obeying the rules. Stop at stop signs. Maintain the flow of traffic. Don’t go the wrong way down one-way streets. Bicyclists don’t have these limitations. It would never occur to me to try to impersonate a police officer and force my way into someone’s home. It just wouldn’t enter my head. But I can definitely see how a bicyclist who has been conditioned to flaunt authority for his entire life can think up crimes that are just beyond my imagination.

Still, I have to think that if I DID decide to impersonate a police officer, the very first step I would take would probably be something along the lines of “don’t look like a crazy psychopath.” I mean, holy shit! Look at that death glare! That crazy hair! Those cold, lifeless eyes! And I’m not even trying to make a value judgment here. This guy might be the nicest guy in the world in his personal life. Maybe he just made one big mistake (two, actually: his first mistake was getting on a bicycle in the first place). But I am saying that this guy could be handing out free tickets to fuck Candice Swanepoel and I STILL wouldn’t open the door for him. Everyone involved in this situation needed to make better choices. Shape up, New York.

About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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2 Responses to Does This Look Like The Face Of A Bicyclist Arrested For Impersonating A Police Officer?

  1. bicyclebill2000 says:

    You make a comment about banging a Victoria’s Secret model (“… this guy could be handing out free tickets to fuck Candice Swanepoel and I STILL wouldn’t open the door for him”) in an “I hate cyclists” blog?

    Now I know what your problem is, Falco.  You’re thinking too much with the small head, not the big one.

  2. eellis10 says:

    I’d say no. That guy looks like a cross between Dylan Klebold and the Unabomber.

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