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Recent Posts
- In Maybe the Saddest Development of All Time, Bicyclists Are Now Using “Bike Escalators” to Climb Hills
- Bicyclist Tries to Tattle on Driver to the Police, Promptly Gets Uno Reversed to the Moon
- The COVID-19 Pandemic Has Officially Broken The Bicyclist Community
- I Decided To Research What Bicyclists Eat And What I Found Was Horrifying
- 81-Year-Old Bicyclist Rides Past Airport, Promptly Gets Blown the Fuck Away by Jet Engine
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Author Archives: Falco
Bicyclists Starting to Go All ’28 Days Later’ on Us
A 71-year-old Cambridge man told police he was driving down Concord Avenue near Parker Street at 11:20 a.m. on Aug. 28 when a cyclist reportedly started banging on his passenger side window and door, denting the door with a kick. … Continue reading
Posted in Criminals
Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, convict scum, inmates running the asylum, road warrior, vagabonds
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Bicyclist Runs Over Hiker and Calls Him a “Motherfucking Faggot,” Promptly Gets the Shit Kicked Out of Him Because Bicyclists Are Pussies
A small peloton of Lycra-clad cyclists came northbound around a bend, taking up both lanes. Most moved over into the northbound lane; one just waved his hand at me to give way, which would have put me into a particularly ugly-looking … Continue reading
Another Day, Another Bicyclist Rolling Around Town with a Concealed Weapon While He Has Outstanding Warrants
At 4:30 a.m., Sgt. Schuette and Deputy Easter observed a subject on a bicycle matching the description of an armed robbery suspect. Upon making contact they found the subject was concealing a loaded handgun. The subject was arrested for carrying … Continue reading
Posted in Criminals
Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, convict scum, road warrior, vagabonds
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Just Another Bicyclist Verbally Assaulting a Woman and Punching the Shit Out of Her Car
KITTERY, Maine — Police have released a photo of a bicyclist suspected in a road rage incident and are asking the public’s help in identifying him. The suspect was involved in an incident on Monday, Sept. 3 with a local … Continue reading
Posted in Criminals
Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, convict scum, road warrior
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BREAKING: Bicyclists Not Actually Exempt From All Laws and Human Decency
Q. Honker: What are the traffic laws regarding bicyclists? Traveling along Santiago Canyon Road, I see bikes going through red lights, crisscrossing traffic lanes, running stop signs. Aren’t they under the same laws as motor vehicles? Does it matter if they are … Continue reading
I Can’t Even Write a Headline, There Are Literally No Fucking Words
Bicycling is cool if you’re going down a mountain or winning the Tour de France. It’s a bit dorky in any other scenario. It makes sense if you live in an urban area, but you are giving up a touch of … Continue reading
Bicyclists Just Flashing Guns at Schools Now
A bicyclist with a holstered handgun was detained by police and released without charges this morning after causing a lockdown at Grand Junction High School. The bicyclist, a man who Grand Junction Police Sgt. Dave Stassen described to be in … Continue reading
Bicyclists Are Such Ridiculous Hypocrites I Can’t Even Stand It
Free speech? Natalie Plummer was reportedly just trying to be neighborly when she spotted a police speed trap on her way home (via bicycle) in Houston. She quickly made and held up a makeshift sign to warn drivers, which the … Continue reading
I Don’t Think I Have Ever in My Life Hated Anyone As Much As I Hate This “World’s Smallest Bicycle” Guy
Finally, a bicycle that fits into a day pack … and a man who knows how to ride it! The accompanying video, which has gone viral during the past few days, shows a Russian cyclist pulling out an entire … Continue reading
Bicyclists Are Literally the Only People in the Entire World Who Think Bicycle Cops Are Totally Awesome
Would you like to see the police utilize bicycle patrols more often? Are you concerned about how the PPB handles marches and protests? The City of Portland and the Portland Police Bureau is forming a new group of citizens to … Continue reading
Posted in Stupidity
Tagged bicycle, bicyclist, bike, biker, biking, inmates running the asylum
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I HATE BICYCLISTS 