Just Another Bicyclist Verbally Assaulting a Woman and Punching the Shit Out of Her Car

KITTERY, Maine — Police have released a photo of a bicyclist suspected in a road rage incident and are asking the public’s help in identifying him.

The suspect was involved in an incident on Monday, Sept. 3 with a local motorist on Whipple Road in Kittery, police said. The bicyclist hit the victim’s car with his fist, causing significant damage, police said, and the motorist took the offender’s picture with her cell phone while he was yelling at her.

Police said the male suspect has graying hair below the helmet line. [Seacoast Online]

Now listen, I make fun of bicyclists a lot because they don’t seem to realize that their 15 lb aluminum bike is not going to win a fight with the two-ton steel death machine we call a “car.” But this guy just straight up skipped the bike and decided to pick a fight with a car using only his fists. Listen bro. I don’t know much. But I know that in a fight between cars and fists, cars are going to win a million times out of a million. You’re pretty lucky this lady didn’t swing the wheel and NAIL your ass.

Now I’m wondering what this guy looks like.

(checks photo)

Whoa, really? A middle aged dude wearing a skintight microfiber jacket, short shorts, and designer sunglasses? I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED!

PS. It says this dude caused “significant damage” to the car using only his fists, which I guess means she was driving a Prius.

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About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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