Bicyclists Starting to Go All ’28 Days Later’ on Us

A 71-year-old Cambridge man told police he was driving down Concord Avenue near Parker Street at 11:20 a.m. on Aug. 28 when a cyclist reportedly started banging on his passenger side window and door, denting the door with a kick.

The driver of the 2008 blue Toyota Camry told police he didn’t know why the cyclist punched the passenger side window and banged on the side of his door. The man reportedly didn’t say anything to the man cyclist, who reportedly kicked the door of the car when the man started to drive away. [Wicked Local]

What the fuck is going on in Bikerland these days? Usually these pussies are content to just pee on buildings and flash their dicks at people, but in the past few days it seems like they’re really kicking the aggression up a notch. We got bicyclists kicking hikers, punching cars, kicking cars…what the fuck is happening here!

The obvious answer is that some sort of rage virus has infected bicyclists all over the country. Can’t think of any other explanation. And listen I saw those Resident Evil movies. I know what has to be done when something like this happens. And if that means we have to nuke some city like Portland where the bicyclists have already taken over, well, you know what Portland? You’ve made your bed. Now lie in it.

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About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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