Tag Archives: heroes

Lance Armstrong Says Pro Bicycling’s Leaders Are on Cancer’s Side and Honestly Who Are You Going to Believe, a Bunch of Asshole Bicyclist Leaders or Lance Fucking Armstrong, American Hero?

Posted on January 23, 2013 by Falco

Lance Armstrong blames cycling’s governing body for the spread of the cancer that nearly killed him and told a team-mate that it was his ‘card to play’ if he ever faced any ‘doping problem.’ … Vaughters stated: ‘Early on at a … Continue reading →

Posted in Professional Cyclists | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Hero Cop Writes Bicyclist a Ticket for Being a Dick, Now People Are Angry Because He Didn’t Have a “Real Reason” or Something

Posted on January 22, 2013 by Falco

A Los Angeles cop is now under investigation after he gave a cyclist a ticket “for arguing with me.” According to NBC News, the officer’s conduct is under investigation after a video of him ticketing a bicyclist who told him he was blocking … Continue reading →

Posted in Criminals | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Heroic Advertising Campaign Tells Bicyclists “Don’t Be a Stupid Twat”

Posted on November 14, 2012 by Falco

Everyone seems to be talking about cycle safety right now, what with the injuries to both Bradley Wiggins and Shane Sutton over the past week. But London-based ad firm Karmarama have taken it upon themselves to solve the problem with … Continue reading →

Posted in Stupidity | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

If You Hate Lance Armstrong, You Hate America

Posted on October 11, 2012 by Falco

Listen I know I touched on this Lance Armstrong bullshit before, but now that it’s back in the news it’s important to remember one thing: if you suddenly hate Lance Armstrong now, you are basically a terrorist. See the thing … Continue reading →

Posted in Professional Cyclists | Tagged , , , , , | 9 Comments

Bicyclist Runs Three Red Lights in About 10 Seconds, NYPD Hero Lowers the BOOM

Posted on October 11, 2012 by Falco

One Brooklyn cyclist says he was hit with a $1,555 ticket for running three red lights in a row. It’s not why he was ticketed that has us stumped, but how.  The cyclist, who asked the Gothamist to keep his name anonymous, says the officer … Continue reading →

Posted in Criminals | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bicyclist Runs Over Hiker and Calls Him a “Motherfucking Faggot,” Promptly Gets the Shit Kicked Out of Him Because Bicyclists Are Pussies

Posted on September 7, 2012 by Falco

A small peloton of Lycra-clad cyclists came northbound around a bend, taking up both lanes. Most moved over into the northbound lane; one just waved his hand at me to give way, which would have put me into a particularly ugly-looking … Continue reading →

Posted in Criminals | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

So, This Whole Lance Armstrong Thing

Posted on August 24, 2012 by Falco

I bet you all think I’m gonna hate on Lance Armstrong because I hate bicyclists. But I ain’t mad at him. Sure, Lance shows that even professional cyclists are duplicitous, lying assholes. But Lance is a professional cyclist, not a dipshit city … Continue reading →

Posted in Professional Cyclists | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments