Kangaroos Are The Latest Animals To Join Mother Nature’s Battle Against Bicyclists

kangapunch

[Canberra Times] Darren Jones is one of a string of bike riders to have narrowly survived collisions with kangaroos across Canberra. 

The 45-year-old father was flung off his bike when a kangaroo jumped out and hit his front wheel at 5.30am, before sunrise, on February 3.

“I remember hitting my head and then it went black,” he said. “I must have skidded about six metres. I woke up on my back and looking up at the sky I wondered how long I’d been out.” 

The confident cyclist was travelling close to 40km/h down the steep section of road in Aranda.

I feel like it’s been a while since we’ve heard from a new member of mother nature’s animal kingdom, but man, kangaroos sure know how to make a goddamn splash!

To be honest, the only thing that surprises me is that it took this long for kangaroos to join the fight. Let’s face it, kangaroos have always been among the most ornery creatures on the planet, and it’s only natural that bicyclists would be ignorantly invading their territory because, as I’ve proven time and time again, bicyclists talk a big game about saving the planet but don’t actually know a single fucking thing about nature.

So props to this kangaroo for standing up for himself. You wanna come through kangaroo territory at 5:30 in the fucking morning, you best be riding something heavier than a bike, motherfucker. Those ‘roos aren’t gonna stand for your shit. They know what’s up. They know what’s right. And if nobody else is going to stand up for truth and justice in Australia, it’s good to know that the kangaroos have it covered.

(image source)

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About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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2 Responses to Kangaroos Are The Latest Animals To Join Mother Nature’s Battle Against Bicyclists

  1. Pingback: If You’re Thinking Of Going For A Bike Ride In Australia, The Kangaroos Would Like You To Think Again | I HATE BICYCLISTS

  2. Pingback: Been A While Since I Posted, Hasn’t It? Anyway, Here’s A Story About A Kangaroo Exploding A Bicyclist’s Fake Boobs | I HATE BICYCLISTS

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