Did WaPo’s Courtland Milloy And I Just Become Best Friends?

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[Washington Post] I have to hand it to the bicyclists in the D.C. area. They’ve got more nerve than an L.A. biker gang. And some can be just as nasty.

They fight to have bike lanes routed throughout the city, some in front of churches where elderly parishioners used to park their cars. They slow-pedal those three-wheel rickshaws through downtown during rush hour, laughing at motorists who want them to get out of the way. ….

Actually, bike ninjas are much worse. They don’t just ride without lights at night. Or ride on sidewalks and go the wrong way in a bike lane. If you demand that he show common courtesy and obey the rules of the road, a biker just might spit on your car. Kick the door. Hit the side mirrors. Bang on the hood. And dare you to do anything about it.

It’s a $500 fine for a motorist to hit a bicyclist in the District, but some behaviors are so egregious that some drivers might think it’s worth paying the fine.

Bikers routinely worm their way to the front of a line of cars waiting at a red light. When the light turns green, they’ll poke along at a snail’s pace, holding up traffic while motorists wait for a chance to pass. Then they do the same thing at the next stop light.

This guy! Courtland Milloy, you beautiful bastard! I’ve been down on the Washington Post for some time now, but once in a while they step up and show they’re still capable of knocking one out of the park.

I feel like every other day my inbox gets filled to the brim with emailers accusing me of hate speech or calling me a monster or spewing any other manner of rage-fueled invectives and vitriol. Well guess what, fuckers? No more! I’ve got the WASHINGTON FUCKING POST on my side now!

This just proves what I’ve said from day one: all I’m doing is telling it like it is, and the feral bicyclist mobs can’t handle the truth. I’m not making up stories. I’m not inventing tall tales about bicyclists. I’m working with the material that this cabal of spandex warriors lays at my doorstep. I’m relaying what the average citizen sees on the streets every day. And to have Courtland Milloy confirm everything I’ve been saying (and in the paper of record in my hometown, no less!) is nothing short of complete vindication.

But before I do a victory lap, let’s just take a quick look at the comment section of the article, shall we? I’m sure the bicyclists in our nation’s capital took this in stride, right?

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oh

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oh i see

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wait what

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wait did i read a different article

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now ya’ll just being mean to old people

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well i guess i’ll wait

I highly recommend reading the entire comment section. It’s the perfect combination of people advocating banning all cars, people crying racism for no apparent reason, people hurling insults and threatening violence against the columnist, and people who haven’t even READ the article in question (no shock there, bicyclists have proven so consistently incapable of reading the four letters S T O P on brightly colored and clearly visible signs that it seems clear that most of them are illiterate). My favorites are the ones claiming that the article is inciting violence against bicyclists. Nowhere in this article is there any inciting of violence. And while we’re at it, nowhere on my site is there any inciting of violence. I’ve made it clear on MANY occasions that anyone perpetrating violence against bicyclists is no friend of mine. We’re better than that. We don’t sink to their level. And that’s what bicyclists don’t understand. They’re so busy calling for violence against motorists that they haven’t even noticed that those of us living in civilized society (which is admittedly outside the comprehension of the average bicyclists) haven’t responded in kind.

Obviously none of this is very surprising, as bicyclists as a group have proven to be an exceptionally violent and temperamental bunch. Any word against bicyclists is a threat to their psychotic amalgamation of fitness freaks, spurring them to immediately join together in a Voltron-like fusion of half-baked ideas and hate-fueled invectives. Courtland Milloy isn’t the first to suffer their wrath for speaking the truth, and he won’t be the last. Me? I just want him to know he has allies. Stand strong, my friend! Stand strong!

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About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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