Remember That WaPo Column I Wrote About Yesterday? DC Bicyclists Launched The Saddest Protest Ever Over It


[DCist] If you thought that the Washington Post’s Courtland Milloy would never write a column where he equates cyclists to terrorists, insinuating that hitting them with a car is worth the $500 fine and no one would do anything about it, you thought wrong.

This afternoon, dozens of cyclists—along with a guest appearance from Council Chairman Phil Mendelson—gathered in front of the Post’s headquarters to protest Milloy’s column, entitled”Bicyclist bullies try to rule the road in D.C.,” to let him and his editors know that they are not, in fact bike terrorists.

There isn’t much to say here other than that this has to be the most pathetic protest I’ve ever seen. I mean I know bicyclists aren’t exactly the most organized bunch–sure, at times they’ve been able to come together to form themselves into roving bands of marauding assault-machines, but without the prospect of committing multiple felonies to entice them, they’re merely a disjointed rabble–but have a little pride, for god’s sake. If you’re going to organize a protest, try and make sure that more than six people show up, yeah? Protesting 101, really.

Of course, this just goes even FURTHER to confirm everything I’ve been saying. Sure, bicyclists can fill the comment section of a Washington Post article and sockpoppet their way to victory in an internet shouting match, but when it comes to real life, absolutely nobody likes them. They can kick and scream all they want but the fact remains that my friend Courtland Milloy had them dead to rights. Everything he wrote in that article was true, and everybody knows it. I mean apparently even the bicyclists know it, since their giant protest barely managed to attract enough people to block a sidewalk. Go ahead and protest with your construction paper signs and frowny faces, the rest of us will be over here being productive members of civilized society.

PS. Pretty telling that with all the bikes in that picture, there’s only one helmet. Basically confirms everything I’ve said about them being brain damaged.


Screen Shot 2014-07-11 at 12.24.30 PM

This is pretty much the saddest doodle of a bicycle of all time, right? Come to think of it this might be the saddest sign of all time. Get this guy some Prozac before he jumps into the fucking Potomac already.

(image source)

About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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2 Responses to Remember That WaPo Column I Wrote About Yesterday? DC Bicyclists Launched The Saddest Protest Ever Over It

  1. Beast From the East says:

    Rice Krispy Treats and asthma inhalers all around!
    What a bunch of pathetic fucks.

  2. onenameleft says:

    Those idiots couldn’t rub two of their own bicycle tires together, much less form any common sense thought.

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