I HATE BICYCLISTS

More Christchurch people would cycle if they did not have to strap ugly helmets to their heads, a style-conscious city councillor says.

Cr Aaron Keown wants New Zealand’s compulsory cycle helmet law reviewed because he believes it is stopping people from getting on their bikes and is jeopardising Christchurch’s hopes of becoming the Amsterdam of the South Pacific.

Keown fled police twice when he was in his 20s because he was cycling without a helmet. On a third occasion he was nabbed and fined.

He has hardly been on a bike since because he refuses to wear a helmet. He believes it is impossible to look cool wearing one and reckons that as long as the helmet law is in force, many people will not take up cycling. [Stuff]

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Yup, here’s bicyclist mentality summed right up for you. One minute they’re bitching that the roads aren’t safe enough for bikers. The next minute they’re bitching about having to wear helmets because they’re “ugly.” By the way these are the same guys who, if you said that drivers shouldn’t have to wear seatbelts, would immediately say something like “see, drivers don’t really care about safety.”

Honestly I don’t get it. On the one hand the dude says that more people would bike if they didn’t have to wear helmets, and more bicyclists is undeniably BAD. On the other hand, more people biking without helmets means more asshole bikers getting clocked upside the brain when they inevitably breeze through a red light, which is undeniably GOOD. I dunno. I’m torn here. Could go either way.

A bicyclist who allegedly fell more than 10 feet when a road came to an end because he thought there was a bike trail beyond, but there really wasn’t, has asked to file a first amended complaint against the Agency for Community Transit.

Ian Hester filed a lawsuit April 26 in Madison County Circuit Court, alleging the July 24, 2011 incident occurred because the road he was on had the appearance that the bike path continued at the road’s end. [Madison Record]

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Listen I’ve seen a lot of bike paths in my time. And I’ve seen a lot of cliffs in my time. And I can tell you that I’ve mistaken one for the other exactly zero times in my entire life. It’s really not that hard to tell the difference dude. Let’s compare and contrast “cliffs” and “bike paths” for a minute:

Bike Path

• Dirt/gravel path
• Clearly marked
• Fairly level, devoid of abrupt drops straight down
• Safe place to ride bike

Cliff

• Abrupt drop straight down
• Pretty much the exact opposite of a bike path

So you see it’s really not complicated. Instead of suing the city you should probably just walk around in nature for a little while until you can clearly demonstrate that you understand this key difference. Because it makes me wonder what other basic things you’re confusing. Don’t come crying to me when you accidentally brush your teeth with battery acid next.