Idiot Bicyclist Sues City Because He Mistook a Cliff for a Bike Path (No Seriously)

A bicyclist who allegedly fell more than 10 feet when a road came to an end because he thought there was a bike trail beyond, but there really wasn’t, has asked to file a first amended complaint against the Agency for Community Transit.

Ian Hester filed a lawsuit April 26 in Madison County Circuit Court, alleging the July 24, 2011 incident occurred because the road he was on had the appearance that the bike path continued at the road’s end. [Madison Record]

Listen I’ve seen a lot of bike paths in my time. And I’ve seen a lot of cliffs in my time. And I can tell you that I’ve mistaken one for the other exactly zero times in my entire life. It’s really not that hard to tell the difference dude. Let’s compare and contrast “cliffs” and “bike paths” for a minute:

Bike Path

  • Dirt/gravel path
  • Clearly marked
  • Fairly level, devoid of abrupt drops straight down
  • Safe place to ride bike

Cliff

  • Abrupt drop straight down
  • Pretty much the exact opposite of a bike path

So you see it’s really not complicated. Instead of suing the city you should probably just walk around in nature for a little while until you can clearly demonstrate that you understand this key difference. Because it makes me wonder what other basic things you’re confusing. Don’t come crying to me when you accidentally brush your teeth with battery acid next.

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About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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