If You Think Being Four Years Old Means You Don’t Have To Obey Cycling Laws, Think The Fuck Again

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[People] It was a slow day of crime in Grantham, England, on March 9, apparently.

Sophie Lindley, 4, was biking along Trent Road with her dad, when a police officer approached her and said she had to get off the path on her bike. (Sophie is still using training wheels.)

“He said, ‘The law is the law,’ and she was not allowed to ride on the path,” her father Dale told the BBC. “He said, ‘If I catch you putting her on her bike further up the road I will turn around and confiscate the bike,’ ” Lindley added. 

Sophie’s mother said she knew that it was illegal to ride a bike on the sidewalk, but she told the BBC that “it is ridiculous to think a 4-year-old is not allowed … The most unbelievable thing is they were going to confiscate the bike.”

First of all, bless you, cops! Bless you! I know that some people probably think that it’s “harsh” to threaten to confiscate a four-year-old kid’s bike. Some people probably think it’s “going too far” or that it’s “excessive.” Well to those people I say “fuck you.” Kids need to learn from an early age that being a reckless, lawless bicyclist is unacceptable. I’m not saying you need to throw kids in jail, but putting a little fear into them is just fine by me.

And the kid isn’t even the biggest problem. The real villains here are the parents. I mean, how about the stones on mom here?

Sophie’s mother said she knew that it was illegal to ride a bike on the sidewalk, but she told the BBC that “it is ridiculous to think a 4-year-old is not allowed … The most unbelievable thing is they were going to confiscate the bike.”

Typical. Just so fucking typical. “We knew it was illegal but we did it anyway because WE ARE OF THE IMMORTAL CABAL OF BICYCLISTS TO WHOM THE LAWS OF MAN DO NOT APPLY!” I don’t know why I let this stuff get to me anymore. I already know for a fact that all bicyclists believe they have immunity from all laws. Why should it shock me that they think laws don’t apply to their kids, either? All I know is, thank God for this hero cop who came by to educate this little girl and hopefully prevent her from growing up to be a scofflaw like her parents.

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About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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3 Responses to If You Think Being Four Years Old Means You Don’t Have To Obey Cycling Laws, Think The Fuck Again

  1. onenameleft says:

    I checked out the link, the bicycle zealots are incredibly outraged. There seems to be no end to what cyclists will bitch and complain about. The law is the law, regardless of age. If exemptions are made, there will be more anarchy from cyclists.

  2. bicyclebill2000 says:

    Be careful what you wish for; you might get it.

    If bicycles are not allowed on the path (which I presume is Brit-speak for ‘sidewalk’) then that leaves the only other option to be the roadway itself.  But the Magnificent Falco, The Great and Powerful, operating behind the screen of his blog, has decreed that “Rules Are Rules” — (pause for lightning and rumble of thunder for emphasis) — and a 4-year-old girl must obey them.

    So share the road, Falco.  That’s somebody’s toddler that you just tossed out there now.

  3. Pingback: Donald Trump Declaring That He Will “Never Ever Ride A Bicycle” Has Me Feeling Pretty Conflicted | I HATE BICYCLISTS

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