Lazy, Hypocritical Bicyclists Can’t Even Maintain Their Own Bike Lanes


[The Age] A motorist wielding a large wooden bat attacked a group of cyclists after screaming abuse at them, one of the riders has claimed. A triathlete, who requested to be known only as Brad, said he was riding with his coach and five other cyclists on Point Nepean Road at Rye on the Mornington Peninsula on Saturday morning when they were confronted by a man on the street, waving the bat.

He said the same man had driven past them earlier, screaming abuse.


The driver accused the cyclists of blocking the road, Brad said. However, Brad said it was not safe for him and his teammates to ride in the bike lane on Point Nepean Road at the time, because it was in “terrible condition”.

He said the incident highlighted the need for councils to better maintain bike lanes. “They’re full of potholes, loose gravel, are very lumpy and are essentially unrideable. I don’t even think the street sweeper goes over them too often,” he said.

Look, I’m not gonna sit here and defend this guy. He lost his mind. He went overboard. He definitely shouldn’t have done what he did. But we’ve all been there. We’ve all been sitting behind a group of bicyclists blocking the road for miles, just steadfastly refusing to let anyone by them. We’ve all wished we could attack those people with a goddamn bat. Now, mind you, we don’t do it. We don’t do it because behaving like a savage is bicyclist territory. We, the normal, decent people of the world, don’t sink to that level. This guy makes us all look bad. So do I condone it? Of course not. But I understand.

But that’s really all beside the point here. How many times have you heard a bicyclist rant and rave about the evils of cars? How many times have you heard bicyclists proclaim the bicycle as the ultimate mode of transportation? How many times have you heard the spandex-clad lunatic fringe loudly express wonderment about how ANYONE could be STUPID enough to drive GAS GUZZLERS in this day and age?

I guess that’s all well and good until you need your precious bike lane cleared. Oh no, the street sweeper barely touches the bike lanes! Hey “Brad,” if that’s even your name, you pussy, why don’t you try attaching a push broom to your fucking bicycle and doing a little dusting yourself? You know what that street sweeper you’re so pathetically begging for is? A MOTOR VEHICLE. You know, one of those evil devices that you and your brain dead brethren have proclaimed as the downfall of humanity. You don’t want a filthy bike lane? Don’t rely on us evil polluters to clean it for you. Do a little dusting yourself. You want your potholes fixed? Well I sure hope you’ve figured out a way to pave the road with your bicycle because as far as the rest of us are concerned, you can go fuck yourself.

(image source)

h/t reader Ernest

About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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4 Responses to Lazy, Hypocritical Bicyclists Can’t Even Maintain Their Own Bike Lanes

  1. onenameleft says:

    You should visit bicycle advocate websites, they cry like babies about their snow covered pathways not being cleared. Instead of complaining for the city to clear them, and end up costing taxpayers more money, cyclists should clear the pathways if they want to ride on them so badly. Then again, cyclists can’t and won’t even stop and help one another out.

  2. turgius says:

    Perhaps the freeloaders could shoulder the cost of maintaining their precious bike lanes with registration fees, much like honest drivers do.

  3. bicyclebill2000 says:

    Most if not all cyclists in the good ol’ USA also own a car and even drive it from time to time, so we are also paying our fair share of registration fees, road use fees, sales taxes, gasoline taxes, etc, as well as all the other little add-ons like municipal wheel taxes that come along as part of the joys of owning what has become in many places a de facto necessity to American life.  So asking that the street sweeper make a pass through the bike lane from time to time or the snowplow at least not push all the snow *INTO* the bike lane isn’t out of line at all.

    And by the way — when was the last time that *YOU* took a shovel and went out to help the plows clear some snow or a broom and pail to pick up some of that debris or broken glass that the street sweeper missed?  Heck, I’ll bet a sawbuck that you wouldn’t even go out to fill a pothole even if you could get your hands on some asphalt hotmix to throw into it.

    • onenameleft says:

      You start off with “I pay for these things” so it grants me special privileges. What bicycle advocate taught you that excuse?
      Just because you barely pay for registration fees, road use fees, sales taxes, gasoline taxes, etc, doesn’t mean it counts when riding your bicycle on the road way. You have an unlicensed vehicle that isn’t road worthy.
      Your bicycle doesn’t have brake lights, signal lights, more then likely no front light either like most out there, it can’t keep up with the posted speed limit either.
      The next biggest problem, bicyclists are UNACCOUNTABLE for their reckless actions while riding.
      Until bicyclists are required to wear ID, ( like this ) and actually are held to higher standards, oh and lets not forget, since a bicycle is a vehicle, riding a bicycle is a privilege not a right, just like an actual vehicle.

      As for helping plows out I am not the one complaining about a path way not being cleared! You bicyclists preach this stupid green save the earth movement, and are nothing but hypocrites!
      As for you trying to twist this around and make it all about me, nice try. As for filling potholes with asphalt mix, I’d happily do so if I was allowed!
      Ask your big bully advocate to donate money to get the trail fixed, instead of creating stupid laws that won’t help your cause.

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