Don’t You Just Hate It When You Almost Kill A Toddler With Your Bicycle And People Freak Out And Get All Mad At You?

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[Courier Mail] ‘HIT-AND-RUN’ cyclist mowed down a toddler before dragging her along the footpath — but claims it’s his life that’s been ruined.

Andrew Holland, 23, said he has been verbally attacked and threatened since the release of CCTV footage showing him ploughing into three-year-old Lucie Wilding outside her home in Blackpool, England. The shocking video shows the little girl caught up in the pedals of the bike, her face scraping the pavement as Mr Holland continues to cycle.

Mum Lauren Howarth, 26, said at the time: “One minute she was behind me and the next she was further along the street, sprawled across the pavement. I thought she was dead. There was blood coming from everywhere. She was hysterical, screaming at the top of her lungs.”

Ms Howarth, a mum-of-three, said Mr Holland fell off his bike before hurling abuse at her and her partner, Matt, and fleeing the scene. “As soon as he got up he started swearing at us, as if it was Lucie’s fault that he had hit her. The next thing we knew he’d gone,” she said. “It would have been nice for him to put a note through the door to check how she is. For all he knew, she could be dead.”

Ugh, helicopter parents are the WORST, am I right? I mean is this mom going to throw a tantrum EVERY time someone runs her kid over and drags her around by the face? Talk about an overreaction. Let’s think about the REAL victim here: the bicyclist. Has anyone stopped for one minute to ask how HE feels? It’s got to be real traumatizing to see all that blood. And did that little girl even bother to find out how badly her tiny body might have damaged that bike? He probably had to refit the chain, might have even had to wipe some blood off the chassis. It’s just such a shame that nobody wants to give this guy any sympathy because they’re too busy paying attention to the “little girl” and her “serious injuries” and “near death experience.” How about a little sympathy for the REAL victim here, huh?

In all seriousness though, how about the balls on this motherfucker? “Yeah, I know I dragged a toddler down the pavement by her face like she was a bundle of cans driving away from the world’s most macabre wedding, but people are being MEAN to me about it so I’m the real victim here.” It’s so absurd I almost have to respect it. And the fact that when he finally popped off the bike he immediately went on a profanity-laced tirade while the toddler’s brains were basically still leaking all over the sidewalk is just the icing on the bicyclist cake.

I wish I could say that any part of this story surprises me. I really do. But I can’t. It’s just par for the course with these people. Never mind that it was illegal for him to be riding his bike where he was. Never mind that he ran over a small child. Never mind that he dragged that same small child on her face across the pavement without stopping. And never mind that he ran off after the “accident” (although can you truly call an act of such astounding stupidity, negligence, and aggressive malice an “accident?”) and never bothered to check with the family to make sure the kid was alright. Never mind all that. The REAL victim here is the guy who people are saying mean things to. It’s like Charles Manson claiming that he’s the victim because of all the bad press he received. Just mind-blowingly tone-deaf stuff here. But that’s just the life of a bicyclist, I guess. When you live your life in a spandex echo chamber, circlejerking with your pedal-jockey buddies day after day about how drivers are out to “get” you, it shouldn’t be a surprise when you develop a persecution complex. Anyone wondering how bicyclists get to be the way they are, how they develop the nigh-universal attitude of entitlement and defensiveness, need look no further than this lunatic right here. Look into his face, bicyclists. He is you. In one way or another, he is all of you.

(image source)

h/t to a whole bunch of you who sent this to me

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About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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2 Responses to Don’t You Just Hate It When You Almost Kill A Toddler With Your Bicycle And People Freak Out And Get All Mad At You?

  1. bicyclebill2000 says:

    God, you have no idea how it pains me to say this, but in this instance, Falco, you are right.
    However, all this proves is that there are some bicyclists who are grade ‘A’ dicks and certified assholes.  Just like I am sure there are also courteous, sober, level-headed, law-abiding motorists out there somewhere.

  2. As a full-time pedestrian and part-time bus rider I have to be on-the-defense against BOTH motorists and bicyclists (and joggers as well) every time I go out.
    It’s a shame one has to “feel gratitude and appreciation” anytime they run across a motorist or bicyclist who actually behaves courteously and makes amends for them because such behavior is usually an exception instead of a norm. It’s a reflection of what’s probably an intracultural “civilian cold war” environment more than anything.

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