BOOM, BITCH!

[Sky News via Barstool Sports] CBS13 captured the footage as the man fled on a bicycle in California. A Sacramento Police officer was able to stop the man with a diving tackle in the street. The man was suspected of trying to break into the garage of a nearby home before he fled from officers.

FORM TACKLE! Absolute perfection by the Sacramento PD here. Let me tell you right now, if the 49ers linebackers could tackle like that they might not have been watching the Super Bowl from home.

Of course it’s no surprise at all that this guy was trying to break into somebody’s garage. Bicyclists bitch about their bicycles being stolen as though that’s the most heinous crime in the history of the world, but when it comes to other peoples’ property they’re a hell of a lot less discerning. My garage, your garage…what’s the difference?

I will say that I am astonished at the apparent response time of the Sacramento PD. I mean wow, they must have gotten there fast right? After all, the only other explanation is that this bicyclist was trying unsuccessfully to break into that garage for upwards of half an hour. Which I guess I wouldn’t put past him. You just can’t underestimate the incompetence of the everyday bicyclist. Good odds he didn’t even bother to make sure nobody was home before he started trying to break in. In fact, no worse than a 50/50 shot the homeowner called 911 while standing next to and looking expectantly at him. Bicyclists don’t give a fuck. They think they’re immune to all laws. The guy probably just told the owner to pipe down. He’s trying to bust a lock here. Fucking non-bicyclists. So inconsiderate.

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About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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