I Don’t Know What It Is With Bicyclists And Meth, But Here’s Another Bicyclist Arrested For Riding Around With A Mobile Meth Lab On His Back

biking bad

[Naples News] Police arrested a bicyclist Wednesday night who was allegedly traveling with a mobile meth lab in Fort Myers.

Officers patrolling the area of Fairview and Edgewood avenues conducted a traffic stop on two men for riding bicycles without headlights.

The officers recognized one of the men as 36-year-old Jason Kraft, who had previously been arrested for possession of methamphetamine. They say Kraft was carrying an open backpack. Officers observed several items inside the backpack that looked consistent with methamphetamine production.

Kraft, who lives in Fort Myers, was charged with manufacturing and possession of methamphetamine.

Serious question: when you buy a bicycle, do they give you a complimentary bag of meth on your way out the door? Because the evidence is piling up so quickly that I’m legitimately starting to believe that every bicyclist in the entire world might actually be a giant meth-head.

And yet again we see evidence of the IQ-draining powers of the bicycle. If you’re carrying around hugely illegal substances, you probably want to make sure you’re conforming to all traffic laws before you go bombing around the city. Hard as it may be to believe, police actually DO try to enforce the law. Also, if you have a fucking meth lab in your backpack, maybe consider zipping it up. I know it’s a tough concept but if you’re committing a felony you usually want to NOT make it obvious to anyone with eyeballs.

PS. While I certainly don’t condone the use or distribution of meth, I do have to sort of admire the entrepreneurial ingenuity of these guys carrying around mobile meth labs. I mean not only are they delivering meth straight to your doorstep, they’re making it right in front of you! It’s like Benihana for tweakers.

(image source)


About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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