One of the things I like about WordPress is that it conveniently catalogues all of the search terms that people have used to find this blog (well, most of them. I’d love to know what lurks into the 2,600-strong “unknown search terms” category). Anyway, obviously the most popular search terms are more or less what you would expect. “I hate cyclists.” “I hate cyclists on the road.” “I hate bicyclists.” And so on, ad infinitum. Even further down the list it stays pretty straightforward:

So imagine my surprise when I looked juuuuust a little further down the list and started seeing things like this:

I…I don’t quite know where to go with this one. It doesn’t so much disturb me that someone would search for that. It doesn’t even really disturb me that they could reach my blog from there. Surely stranger things have happened. But FIVE people searching for “clothed shitting” scrolled through however many pages of results, didn’t see anything they liked, then saw my blog and said “eh, this it just as good.” It’s not that I have anything against clothed shitting fetishists. To each their own, I guess. Do your thing. It’s just that I didn’t realize I was catering so heavily to them.

And it only gets worse from there.

I don’t know what it is with you guys and old ladies but it is pretty creepy, no, that is not true, it is super creepy.

And white people are all like !, am I right?

what does this even mean please help

oh you guys are still here huh

what

Okay, that’s a LITTLE odd. It doesn’t make the MOST sense in the world, but at least I know I’ve used pictures from Mad Max on the site before. I feel like I’m sort of starting to get a handle on this again.

never mind

i mean yes that is true but i don’t see what it has to do with

oh

man you guys are super into hitler

You know what, I quit.

There you have it, I guess. I started this site a year and a half ago as a place where like-minded bicyclist haters could come together to combat the bicyclist menace. Instead it seems that I’ve created some sort of internet nexus where anti-Semitic Star Wars fanatics come together to fantasize about old ladies while they shit themselves with their clothes on before getting drunk and punching a police goose. Am I happy? Well, I’m not thrilled. But if I ever lose my job, it’s reassuring to know that I could probably just convert this into a fetish site and make a pretty comfortable living as an internet pants-shitter. It’s always good to have a backup plan.