Some Of You Are Finding This Blog Using Some Pretty Fucked Up Search Terms


One of the things I like about WordPress is that it conveniently catalogues all of the search terms that people have used to find this blog (well, most of them. I’d love to know what lurks into the 2,600-strong “unknown search terms” category). Anyway, obviously the most popular search terms are more or less what you would expect. “I hate cyclists.” “I hate cyclists on the road.” “I hate bicyclists.” And so on, ad infinitum. Even further down the list it stays pretty straightforward:

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So imagine my surprise when I looked juuuuust a little further down the list and started seeing things like this:

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I…I don’t quite know where to go with this one. It doesn’t so much disturb me that someone would search for that. It doesn’t even really disturb me that they could reach my blog from there. Surely stranger things have happened. But FIVE people searching for “clothed shitting” scrolled through however many pages of results, didn’t see anything they liked, then saw my blog and said “eh, this it just as good.” It’s not that I have anything against clothed shitting fetishists. To each their own, I guess. Do your thing. It’s just that I didn’t realize I was catering so heavily to them.

And it only gets worse from there.

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I don’t know what it is with you guys and old ladies but it is pretty creepy, no, that is not true, it is super creepy.

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And white people are all like !, am I right?

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what does this even mean please help

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oh you guys are still here huh

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Okay, that’s a LITTLE odd. It doesn’t make the MOST sense in the world, but at least I know I’ve used pictures from Mad Max on the site before. I feel like I’m sort of starting to get a handle on this again.

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never mind

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i mean yes that is true but i don’t see what it has to do with

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man you guys are super into hitler

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You know what, I quit.

There you have it, I guess. I started this site a year and a half ago as a place where like-minded bicyclist haters could come together to combat the bicyclist menace. Instead it seems that I’ve created some sort of internet nexus where anti-Semitic Star Wars fanatics come together to fantasize about old ladies while they shit themselves with their clothes on before getting drunk and punching a police goose. Am I happy? Well, I’m not thrilled. But if I ever lose my job, it’s reassuring to know that I could probably just convert this into a fetish site and make a pretty comfortable living as an internet pants-shitter. It’s always good to have a backup plan. 


About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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3 Responses to Some Of You Are Finding This Blog Using Some Pretty Fucked Up Search Terms

  1. akasse says:

    You’re so cool! I don’t think I’ve truly read through anything like this
    before. So great to discover someone with genuine
    thoughts on this subject matter. Seriously..
    thanks for starting this up. This site is something that is needed on the internet, someone with a little

  2. bicyclebill2000 says:

    You know, Falco, the fact that your blog turns up when you google things like “fully clothed shitting” just means that you are as phukked up as the rest of the coprophiliacs, necrophiliacs, incestuous sister-loving panty-pisssers that tend to gravitate to the darker side of the World Wide Web.  But with professional help, I’m sure that you can be brought back to the point where you can still become, while probably not a respected member of society, at least a productive and contributing one, and a source of pride to your parents.

    • Falco says:

      I appreciate your vote of confidence, Bicycle Bill. I know it was cruelly backhanded, but I recognize it for the olive branch that it is.

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