Typical Idiot Bicyclist Rides Right Past A Cop While Carrying All Of His Meth Cooking Ingredients


Two months ago, a bicyclist carrying a bottle of Rooto household lye drain opener rode past a state police officer sitting in his unmarked car in an alley off of Kilgore Avenue.

That observation eventually led police to raid a methamphetamine lab on Wednesday at the apartment of the bicyclist, Richard Jason Lewis, 37, 710 W. Kilgore, Apt. 1.

Police seized a roll of vinyl tubing, cut straws, an empty container of Morton salt, stripped batteries, a plastic smoking device containing meth residue, six syringes, a pill grinder, numerous coffee filters containing white sludge, two metal spoons containing meth residue, a glass jar, a bottle cap with two holes, and sections of vinyl tubing.

Lewis told state police Trooper Nate Raney he had experimented with stuff but denied making meth.

Tough times when the best excuse you can come up with is that you tried to make meth, but never actually managed to do it. Not that it’s surprising to hear that a bicyclist failed at something. I mean, it’s such a believable excuse that I’m surprised the cop even bothered to arrest him. “Oh, you’re a bicyclist. Well nothing to worry about here then, this guy’s never going to be successful enough to actually DISTRIBUTE this stuff, we’ve got better things to do.” In fact, probably the worst case scenario here would be this guy blowing himself up, and is that even really a bad thing? One less meth head on the streets, and you can’t block traffic from the emergency room.

Listen, I know Breaking Bad made meth trendy and all, but not just anybody can cook it. Walter White was a chemistry genius who made the best meth on earth and it took him all of two years to have it all come crashing down around him. Do you really think the average bicyclist can do better than that? Just about the only thing this guy did right was not ride around with actual, fully cooked meth in his backpack like most of his spandex-clad brethren. No, he just rode right past a cop carrying all of his obvious meth ingredients right out in the open. Why not just wear a shirt that says GET YOUR METHAMPHETAMINES HERE at that point? He probably had a piece of paper in his pocket labeled “meth shopping list.” Come on man. Be better.

About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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2 Responses to Typical Idiot Bicyclist Rides Right Past A Cop While Carrying All Of His Meth Cooking Ingredients

  1. MM says:

    Is this blog supposed to be funny or is it just you publicly dealing with personal issues in a tragically public manner?

    Let the train wreck continue at full retard…

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