[Cyclr] We everyday cyclists may think that we are giving the world a hand by reducing congestion, carbon emissions and the strain on the NHS by keeping ourselves healthy, all while doing the thing we love most. But, as we all know, some quarters of the world around us don’t see it this way.
The briefest of Twitter sessions reveals the extent of the hate. One day alone (24th October 2013) sees users proclaiming that us cyclists are “ludicrously self-centred and aggressive” and, rather threateningly, that “cyclists will get what they deserve”. Meanwhile Dane Bowers himself (of Another Level and Celebrity Big Brother, er, fame) claims that
“A lot if (sic) cyclists are dangerous…And selfish. It’s YOU guys that actually think you own the road’.
Why all the hate? Well Bowers’ complaint comes after an encounter with cyclists riding two abreast. Fair enough, that is annoying, but there’s no need for the grand generalisation when we all know that most cyclists are safety conscious and happy to share the roads.
But the hate in places is so vehement that it extends beyond a momentary Twitter rant, and has lead to entire blogs being dedicated to cycle-hate. One such site is I HATE CYCLISTS, where the hatred runs so deep that only capitals suffice to proclaim it apparently, and which contains the tagline “cyclists are the worst people in the world”. Among other things, the site seems to allege that cyclists are all meth users, for, as we all know, hard drugs are the perfect accompaniment for any activity demanding physical fitness.
Hey Cyclr get off me!
You know how I know you’re a second rate blog? You can’t even get my site name right. It’s “I Hate Bicyclists,” not “Cyclists.” It would literally have taken you five seconds to double check that, but I guess fact checking an article is like stopping at a red light, right? Bicyclists don’t have time to bother with that sort of thing. Following rules and doing the right thing is for little people.
And since Cyclr has brought the distinction to light again, I’ll take the opportunity to reeducate you dogfuckers on the difference between a cyclist and a bicyclist. “Cyclist” is a profession. “Bicyclist” is not. Lance Armstrong is a cyclist. The guy who bikes around the block on Saturdays is a bicyclist. And no matter how much spandex he dresses up in, no matter how many aerodynamically streamlined helmets he buys, he will never be a cyclist.
This isn’t hard. It’s the same reason I don’t refer to myself as a “basketball player” just because I like to shoot the ball around at the rec center every once in a while. I’m not
LeBron James Kevin Love, and Teddy Tenspeed over there isn’t Lance Armstrong. Sure, Lance is flawed. Aren’t we all? But I know this: Lance Armstrong never ran a red light during the Tour de France. He never ran over a pedestrian and yelled “share the road.” Transgressions like that are the purview of the bicyclist.
PS. “Among other things, the site seems to allege that cyclists are all meth users, for, as we all know, hard drugs are the perfect accompaniment for any activity demanding physical fitness.” This is actually a great point. I mean name me one athlete who has ever used drugs. You can’t. Sure, guys like Josh Hamilton have been accused of using. But their jobs demand physical fitness so it’s obviously impossible. Bang the gavel. Case dismissed. That’s just science.
PPS. “[H]ard drugs are the perfect accompaniment for any activity demanding physical fitness.” — a bicyclist. Just gonna keep that one in my back pocket.Follow @footstepsfaIco