Yup, Bicyclists Are Still Beating The Shit Out Of Senior Citizens (And Each Other) For Absolutely No Reason At All

bike fight

[STV News] The 70-year-old victim had been cycling in the Nethergate area of Dundee at around 12.45pm on Monday when the incident occurred.

Police Scotland said the attacker confronted the older man after he “seemed to take umbrage at him” near to Nandos restaurant.

The victim was then followed down Union Street, onto Greenmarket and along Seabraes to the cycle path behind the Sensation Science Centre.

He stopped and was then approached by the attacker, who is believed to be about 50, who then swore at him, attacked him and knocked him off his bike.

The victim cycled home before he was taken to Ninewells Hospital where it was confirmed he had suffered a double fracture of his cheekbone.

Honestly there is nothing even remotely surprising about this story. We already know that bicyclists have absolutely no problem viciously attacking senior citizens. I mean what the fuck is going on with these people this week? Just the other day they toss a 70-year-old into traffic, and now they’re out there shattering another old man’s cheekbone. Is there some sort of covert bicyclist war on geriatrics going on right now? Should the AARP be gearing up for battle? Because just the thought of an army of old folks marching down the street forming firing lines and mowing down wave after wave of lycra-clad attackers is enough to make me more than a little randy.

And the other important point here is that this wasn’t just any old man this bicyclist attacked: he was a fellow bicyclist. Because of course he was. Over the last couple of years I’ve shown you story after story about these pedalhead savages beating the shit out of each other. And usually I’m sitting right here laughing my ass off about it. But a senior citizen dude? You’re really gonna chase down and basically try to murder a senior citizen? You gotta be fuckin kidding me. But then again like I said I’m not surprised. We’re talking about a group of people with no moral compass, no conscience, and no remorse. If anything I guess I’m just shocked he didn’t pedal back and try to finish the job.

PS. “The attacker is described as being around 5ft 9in.” Really? This midget is the culprit? I don’t care if you’re 70 years old, you gotta be able to beat up a dwarf. Come on man. Not a good look.

About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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1 Response to Yup, Bicyclists Are Still Beating The Shit Out Of Senior Citizens (And Each Other) For Absolutely No Reason At All

  1. r3dbull4dd1kt says:

    I say fuck it…they wanna throw down and monkeystomp eachother, lets setup an arena, charge admission and podcast that shit…we could make a metric fuckton of cash!

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