[CTV News] Trauma surgeons at Foothills Medical Centre in Calgary conducted a study into cycling injuries and say the risk of serious injury can be reduced and even prevented by wearing body armour.
The doctors compared injuries between street cyclists and mountain bikers over a 14-year period and looked at incidence, risk factors and injury patterns.
One of the recommendations that came out of the report is that cyclists in both groups should consider wearing chest protection.
Really? Body armor? No, I’m sure this is purely to protect you when you fall off your bike. I totally believe you guys. Because every time I trip and fall on the ground, I think “shit, if only I had a kevlar vest on.” I’m sure this is in no way the final preparation for an all out assault on everything that society and civilization holds dear. Last year they started stealing all of our gas. This year they’re buying up battle armor. I think we all know what comes next.
This is what I’ve been warning you people about for the better part of two years. Bicyclists thought I wouldn’t notice the gas story, and now they’re hoping that this story will slip through the cracks. They’re hoping that when their psychotic legions ride forth from the gates of hell and start tossing old people, blind people, fat people, and each other into the River Styx, you won’t have any idea how well armed and armored they really are.
But you know what? Not on my watch. NOT ON MY WATCH.Follow @footstepsfaIco