[Daily Mail] We are always being told to incorporate more exercise into our daily routines – and cycling to work is an excellent way of doing so. 

And if you were reluctant to hit the pedals before, a new gizmo could provide all the incentive you need to get on your bike. 

A firm has launched the Happy Ride – a vibrating seat cover that will make journeys by bicycle that bit more exciting. 

The inconspicuous gadget slips over the seat of a bike and incorporates ‘vibration stimulation’ as you ride.

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These fucking people! I honestly don’t even know what I can say about this story. I mean how typical is this? These are the people who literally cannot open their mouths without bitching about how drivers aren’t aware enough on the road and how distracted drivers are the reason for every accident ever because bicyclists are all beyond reproach. Meanwhile they’re shoving vibrators up their cunts and chugging off into traffic. If I ever hit a bicyclist with my car because they were too busy orgasming to pay attention to the red light, I’m going to feel even LESS bad than usual, which before I read this I wouldn’t even have thought was fucking POSSIBLE.

PS. I’m off to middle-of-fucking-nowhere Canada for the next week and a half. There aren’t even roads where I’m going, which you would figure probably means there won’t be any bicyclists, but I’m confident they’ll still find a way to ruin my day.