Good News! Bicyclists Have Decided To Just Start Beating The Shit Out Of Each Other Now!


[Oregon Live] As both a cyclist and an attorney who specializes in cycling-related cases, Portland’s Bob Mionske knows a good deal about road rage incidents pitting motorists against bicycle riders.

But for whatever reason — warmer weather? More people taking to two wheels to get around? — Mionske is seeing an ugly new wrinkle this year, played out through what he says are increasing numbers of instances where two angry, fist-clenched bicyclists are facing off in the Rose City.

“I have so many friends who are suddenly regaling me with stories of fights on bikes,” Mionske said. “Someone is riding along, someone else flies by them in an unfriendly way, words are exchanged and just like that, people are threatening each other with fisticuffs.”

You know what this reminds me of? Remember at the end of the Lord of the Rings, when the tower falls and all the orcs just go batshit and start attacking each other? Is that what’s happening here? Is there some dark lord of the bicyclists who died and sent the rest of the bicycling world into chaos? Because if that’s the case, somebody somewhere deserves a medal.

I guess this is what happens when Lance Armstrong gets disgraced. We should have known it was only a matter of time before the entire bicycling world completely broke down. Honestly I can’t even believe they’re still having the Tour de France this year, what with the whole social order of bicyclists collapsing into the two-wheeled equivalent of the Mad Max universe. Flat out stupid. Then again nobody ever said bicyclists were smart. Nope, just par for the course for these assholes.

About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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3 Responses to Good News! Bicyclists Have Decided To Just Start Beating The Shit Out Of Each Other Now!

  1. Pingback: Bicyclist Tries To Start Some Shit, Gets The Ever Loving Fuck Beaten Out Of Him By A Bunch Of Skateboarders | I HATE BICYCLISTS

  2. Pingback: Yup, Bicyclists Are Still Beating The Shit Out Of Senior Citizens For Absolutely No Reason At All | I HATE BICYCLISTS

  3. Pingback: In Case You Didn’t Believe Me That Bicyclists Are Gearing Up For War, Apparently They’re Now Wearing Body Armor | I HATE BICYCLISTS

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