Apparently They Now Make A Bicycle With Scooter Attachment Coming Off the Back Of It And Oh My God My Brain Can’t Even Handle How Much I Hate Anyone Who Would Use This


[Digital Trends] Designer and photographer Jason Loveless invented the scooteRack because he claims he wants to see more people get around via bicycles. “Imagine if you could double the number of bicycle users without doubling the number of bicycles!” he writes. The scooteRack attaches right on the bike’s cargo rack (just like my mom’s weirdo pillow seat) and folds down to reveal a foot stand and handle. The secondary rider can retract the scooter in seconds before they hang on tight as the bicyclist takes them both to the desired destination. It’s like water skiing… but on land! Loveless also says the secondary rider can give the bike an added push for better kick-offs.

It goes without saying that anyone who would use this is an asshole. But I honestly can’t even figure out why the biggest asshole in the world would use this. I mean even if you think scooters are totally awesome (in which case you’re probably clinically brain dead), how the fuck is this safe? Like I know all bicyclists have a death wish but this seems like it’s just about GUARANTEED to get someone ELSE killed.

Worst/best part is the guy who wrote this article makes it sound like this thing is perfect for parents and their kids. Really? You’re gonna put your kid on a rickety little scooter while you breeze down Suicide Hill on your ten speed? Well God bless you guys. Frankly if I had my way bicyclists wouldn’t be allowed to procreate in the first place. Last thing we need in this world is more spandex wearing shitbirds with a vehicular superiority complex clogging the streets. But if I can’t make it so bicyclists can’t breed I guess the next best thing is to just let them use shit like this and get their own kids killed.

Just to be clear I’m not advocating killing kids. But if you use this thing and you can’t figure out that it’s a flat out death trap, you are functionally retarded and the gene pool is probably better off without you contaminating it. I just call ’em like I see ’em.

About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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