Drunk Bicyclist Apparently Thinks That Her Bike Makes Her Exempt From All Laws

BRIDGEPORT — While a 21-year-old woman was driving her car down State Street Wednesday around 10:30 a.m., she said a woman, drinking beer and riding a bicycle, struck her gray Toyota Camry.

The driver said she was driving in the left lane, while the bicyclist was swerving in the middle lane. She tried to avoid the bicyclist, who hit her car, she said.

“I felt bad,” the driver said. “I was just trying to go home.”

See normally I would have skipped this story because I don’t want people to think I’m advocating injuring bicyclists. Because obviously I’m not, and I hope this girl is okay. But I honestly don’t know whether to be disgusted or impressed that this woman was drinking beer while she was riding a bike. Was she one-handing it? Or was she just using one of those beer helmets as a bike helmet? There’s got to be a market for that.

I mean I always say that the #1 thing that makes bicyclists such awful people is that they don’t think the rules of the road apply to them.  But here’s the thing: when I say that, I mean they weave through traffic and don’t stop at stop signs and shit like that. Now here comes this bitch who straight up thinks that public drinking laws stop applying to you the second you sit on a bike. I seriously cannot even fathom what level of fantasy world you have to live in to think you can cruise down the street sipping on a 40 and the cops are just gonna go, “hey is that a Steel Reserve? I love Steely!”

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About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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