Apparently Fat People Aren’t Allowed To Participate In That NYC Bike Share Program And Now I Am Just Goddamn Confused


[New York Post] Can obese cyclists sign up for the city’s new bike-share program? Fat chance!

It is “prohibited” for any rider who weighs more than 260 pounds to sign up for the soon-to-launch initiative — prompting backlash from riders who say the fat-shaming rule is enough to make them fly off the handle.

Everyone who signs up for the program has to agree to a contract, which states users “must not exceed maximum weight limit (260 pounds)” because the bikes can’t hold that much heft.

You probably think I’m going to call out these whining bicyclists for being such fat pieces of shit, don’t you? Well I’m not gonna do it. I’m not gonna go for that low hanging fruit. Because more than anything I’m really confused about what the fuck Bloomberg’s game is here.

I said earlier I’m pretty sure this bike share program represents some kind of secret war Bloomberg is waging against bicyclists. Just trying to get all the inexperienced bicyclists to ride out into the middle of the street and get run over by cabs.  But hasn’t Bloomberg been waging a PUBLIC war against fat people? Banning trans fats, banning sodas bigger than a thimble, basically just making life miserable for fat people everywhere. So why wouldn’t he want fat bicyclists to suffer the same fate? Seems like he could kill two birds with one stone, right?

The only possible explanation that I can come up with is that Bloomberg just likes torturing fat people. This bike share program is a complete death trap, but he doesn’t want fat people dying. He wants them alive and well so he can take more of their favorite things from them. Mark my words, a month from now Bloomberg will ban chocolate and just sit in his penthouse cackling away as he looks down at the fatties wandering aimlessly in the street with no purpose left in life. Not cool, mayor. Not cool. Fat people deserve the same right to kill themselves on bike share bikes as every other bicyclist.

About Falco

I hate bicyclists. My only regret is that I can't grow a beard.
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1 Response to Apparently Fat People Aren’t Allowed To Participate In That NYC Bike Share Program And Now I Am Just Goddamn Confused

  1. Pingback: In Case You Didn’t Believe Me That Bicyclists Are Gearing Up For War, Apparently They’re Now Wearing Body Armor | I HATE BICYCLISTS

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